Artificial Rhonda
Lyrics
THING-FISH:
Don't look, OB'DEWLLA! It's too horrible! I b'lieve de muthafucker 'bout to ask dat rubber girl to dance!
HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
Hey, good-lookin'!
THING-FISH:
See! I told ya!
HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
May I have this dance?
THING-FISH:
Muthafucker barf me right on outa here, an' gag me wit a spoon!
HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? Do you come here often?
THING-FISH:
Yow!
HARRY-AS-A-BOY (& MAMMY NUN ENSEMBLE):
I got a girl with a little rubber head (Rubber head! Rubber head!)
Rinse her out every night just before I go to bed (Go to bed! Go to bed!)
She never talk back like a lady might do (Woo-oah!)
An' she looks like she loves it every time I get through (He-he-he-he!)
And her name is
A-(A!)-R-(R!)-T-(T!)-I-(I!)
F-(F!)-I-(I!)-C", I cry,
A-(A!)-L (L!)", don't be shy!
ARTIFICIAL RHONDA with the plastic pie
Her eyes is all shut in a ecstasy face (Make a face! Make a face!)
I can cram it down her throat, people, any old place! (Huargh!)
Then I throw the little switch on her battery pack (Yuggle-yuggle-yah! Yuggle-yuggle-yah!)
'N I can poot it, I can shoot it till it makes her gack! (Woah! Huargh!)
And her name is
A-(A!)-R-(R!)-T-(T!)-I-(I!)
F-(F!)-I-(I!)-C", I cry,
A-(A!)-L (L!)", don't be shy!
ARTIFICIAL RHONDA with the plastic pie
MAMMY NUN ENSEMBLE:
De boy got a girl wit' a lil' rubber haid
Rinse her out evvy night, jes befo' he go t'bed
He gonna grow up, 'n marry dat trash
Wit a ugly rubber head an' a 'flateable gash
She jes' de kinda girl dis sucker might need
He's a little bit dumb, peoples, yes indeed
De boy wanna RHONDA, jeffo hisseff!
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
She gonna take what he got 'til nothin' be lef'
Players On This Song
- Frank Zappa (guitar, acoustic guitar, bass, synth)
- Don van Vliet (harmonica (uncredited)
- Ruth Underwood (synth)
- Roy Estrada (bg. vocal)
- Chad Wackerman (drums)
- Thing Fish: Ike Willis
- Rhonda: Dale Bozzio
- Harry-as-a-boy: Bob Harris
Records On Which This Song Has Appeared
Singles
Zappa Albums & Side Projects
Tribute & Cover Albums
Notes About This Song
CC Clues In This Song
- This song is based on "Ms. Pinky", which makes it another song about sex dolls
- It cites the Valspeak of the song "Valley Girl" ("Muthafucker barf me right on outa here, an' gag me wit a spoon!")
- It features a variation of the line "What's a girl like you doin' in a place like this?".
- Artificial Rhonda has a tie made out of plastic.
- Mentions Rubber
