Cosmik Debris

Lyrics

The Mystery Man came over
An' he said: "I'm outa-site!"
He said, for a nominal service charge,
I could reach nirvana t'nite
If I was ready, willing 'n able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote His Attention to me
But I said . . .
Look here brother,
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?)
Look here brother,
Don't you waste your time on me

The Mystery Man got nervous
An' he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
An' he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
An' a can of foamin' goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Afro-dytee
An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said:
"You might not believe this, little fella, but it'll cure your Asthma too!"
An' I said . . .
Look here brother,
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?)
Look here brother,
Don't you waste your time on me
Don't waste yer time . . .

I've got troubles of my own, I said
An' you can't help me out
So take your meditations an' your preparations
An' ram it up yer snout
"BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOL!," he said
An' held it to the light
So I snatched it
All away from him
An' I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
An' told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his rings
An' pocket watch
An' everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around,
I said
"The price of meat has just gone up
An' yer ol' lady has just gone down . . . "
Look here brother,
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?)
Don't you know,
You could make more money as a butcher,
So don't you waste your time on me
(Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me . . . )
Ohm shonty, ohm shonty, ohm shonty-ohm
SSHONTAY

Players On This Song

THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE version

• Frank Zappa - lead guitar, computer-synth, vocal
• Ike Willis - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal
• Mike Keneally - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal
• Bobby Martin - keyboards, vocal
• Ed Mann - vibes, marimba, electronic percussion
• Walt Fowler - trumpet, flugel horn, synth
• Bruce Fowler - trombone
• Paul Carman - alto sax, soprano sax, baritone sax
• Albert Wing - tenor sax
• Kurt McGettrick - baritone sax, bass sax, contrabass clarinet
• Scott Thunes - electric bass, mini-moog
• Chad Wackerman - drums, electronic percussion

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

• Don't Eat The Yellow Snow (02:07) / Cosmic Debris (05:14) - Frank Zappa (1974)
• Cosmic Debris (05:14) / Uncle Remus (02:44) - Frank Zappa (1974)

Zappa Albums

In order of recording.

• Apostrophe ('). Same take on
  • Strictly Commercial
• Anyway The Wind Blows as Cosmic Debris
• What's New In Loreley?
• You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 3
• The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life
• Buffalo
• The Dub Room Special! (The Album)
• Little Dots
• The Roxy Performances

Tributes & Cover Albums

• Various Artists: Berglers Balz, excerpt as Cosmic Debris included in track Eternal Motherly Goodbye Collage
• The Muffin Men: Say Cheese And Thank You
• Pierrejean Gaucher: Zappe Zappa as track 2 and included in track 13 Medley
• Yahozna Band: 05
• Nasal Retentive Orchestra: Fric Out!

Notes About This Song

On The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life, Ike Willis and Zappa throw in references to Johnny Cash and Ring Of Fire. Johnny was supposed to sing Ring of Fire with Zappa at the show, but was unable to make the show. References include:

It'll cure that Ring of Fire for you, too...

But I got the Ring of Fire!

Your Ring of Fire has just gone down...

Now exactly what kind of a Ring of Fire are we talking about here... in reference to hemorrhoids (Anusol is a treatment for such ailment).

Look here Johnny...

Zappa used to throw in several references to The Lone Ranger as well, stemming from a Lenny Bruce skit in which the Lone Ranger was portrayed as having repressed homosexual feelings.

CC Clues In This Song

• The lyrics mention the Sears Poncho.