Punky's Whips

Lyrics

Don Pardo: In today's rapidly changing world, musical groups appear almost every day with some new promotional device . . . Some of these devices have been known to leave irreparable scars on the minds of foolish young consumers . . . One such case is seated before you . . . live on stage . . . yes, Terry Bozzio . . .
Terry: That's meeee!
Don Pardo: That cute little drummer . . . Terry recently felt in love with a publicity photo of a boy named Punky Meadows, lead guitar player from a group called ANGEL . . . In the photo, Punky was seen with a beautiful shiny hairdo in a semi-profile which emphasized the pooched out succulence of his insolent pouting rictus . . .
Terry: Ooh, Punky . . .
Don Pardo: The sight of which drove the helpless drummer mad with desire!

I can't stand the way he pouts
('Cause he might not be pouting for me!)
Hah! Pouting for you?
Hah! Punky Meadows? Pouting for you?
His hair's so shiny and it's done real nice
(Til I squirm with ecstasy!)

Punky, Punky, give me your lips
To die on . . . Oh, Punky, isn't it romantic?

Punky, Punky, give me your lips
To die on . . . I promise not to come in your mouth
Punky, Punky, your album's the shits
It's all wrong . . . but listen, this is no laughing matter

I ain't really queer
But if he ever got near
Steven Tyler would PAY to see!
Pay to see

Punky's whips, Punky's whips
His hair's so shiny, I love his hips
I love his teeth, 'n his gums 'n such . . . PUNKY
(What's up, baby?)
You're an ANGEL . . .
(Oh, you know that's the kind of stuff that I like to hear)
You're too much

He's been havin' a rash
(No shit)
That keeps the girls away
Skin doom
(Skin doom!)
Is what the doctors say

I wonder if Punky is rehearsin' today
I'll just go over, 'n hear him play
His hair is so pretty . . . I'd like to bite his neck
I've heard a rumor he's more fluid than Jeff Beck
(Dig this . . . )
I AIN'T QUEER
I AIN'T GAY
(He's a little fond of chiffon in a wrist array-ee-ay-ee-ay)
A wrist array-he-hey
(That's all it is)

Punky's lips, Punky's lips
Oh, I love his hair, eatin' dunk-y chips
Yes, I love his blink and his blank-blank-blank
Why, maybe he'd like to yank my crank?
YANK IT PUNKY! YANK IT FASTER!
YANK IT HARDER! YANK IT ALL NITE LONG!
COME ON PUNKY! GET FUNKY!

I AIN'T QUEER
(NO NO NO NO)
I AIN'T GAY
(NO NO NO NO)
(He's a little fond of chiffon in a wrist array-he-he-he-hey)
A wrist array-hey
(One more time for the world!)
And then he said:
I AIN'T QUEER
I AIN'T GAY
(He's a little fond of chiffon in a wrist array-ay-hay)

I-I
Lord, I-I'm fo-fo-o-o-nd
Of chiffo-on
In a wrist array-ee-ay-hey
I said
I-I-I-I-I-I-I
I'm a little fo-o-nd
Of chiffo-on
In a wrist array-hey-ay-ay-hey

FZ: Thank you . . . Our birthday boy, Terry: Bozzio, sad but true . . . Just a minute . . .

Players On This Song

• Frank Zappa - lead guitar, vocals
• Ray White - rythm guitar, vocals
• Eddie Jobson - keyboards, violin, vocals
• Patrick O'Hearn - bass, vocals
• Terry Bozzio - drums, vocals
• Ruth Underwood - percussion, synthetizer
• David Samuels - timpani, vibes
• Randy Brecker - trumpet
• Mike Brecker - tenor sax, flute
• Lou Marini - alto sax, flute
• Ronnie Cuber - baritone sax, flute
• Tom Malone - trombone, trumpet, piccolo
• Don Pardo - sophisticated narration

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Zappa Albums & Side Projects

• Zappa In New York
• Baby Snakes
• Läther
• Hammersmith Odeon (The Album)
• Halloween 77
• 2012 AAAFNRAA (Baby Snakes Soundtrack)

Streams

Punky's Whips - Apple Music

Punky's Whips - Spotify

Notes About This Song

During the tour Terry Bozzio was fascinated by a photograph of Punky Meadows. This became a running gag in the group and Zappa composed this song about the topic.

After Bozzio utters the phrase "Oh Punky, isn't it romantic?", the group plays the theme from the 1932 Richard Rogers & Lorenz Hart show tune "Isn't It Romantic?". On the Baby Snakes DVD version, someone (possibly Bozzio or Belew) whistles the theme.

CC Clues In This Song

• This song makes reference to Jeff Beck ("I've heard a rumor: he's more fluid than Jeff Beck").
• The song references Punky Meadows, who is also mentioned in Titties 'n Beer: "I happen to know that you jerk off to a picture of Punky Meadows when you get home."
• Terry Bozzo at one point sings: "I promise not to come in your mouth", which is the title Zappa eventually gave to another instrumental composition on Zappa In New York, although it was renamed as Leather on the album "Läther".