The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath
Voice #1: Frank, the girls are comin' to get ya
FZ: Great . . .
Emcee: Frank Zappa, Mothers Of Invention, hey!
Girl #1: Frank! Sign us, please! Come on, please!
Guy #1: Hi, man!
Girl #1: Don't touch, I gotta get his autograph
Girl #2: Hey Frank
Guy #2: Frank!
Mother: Testing, 1-2-3-4, testing
Guy #3: Far fuckin' out!
Girl #3: Wowie Zowie
Aynsley: This is a test
Mother: Oh, my hair is getting good in the back
FZ: Okay, listen, this is very important, okay? Your attention please. An important public announcement: It is necessary for me to tell you at this point that there is a clause in our contract here tonight that says if anything nasty happens on stage, terrible things happen to us, so!
Audience: Boooo! Boooo!
FZ: We just, we just want to assure you that our only interest here is doing a swell job for you.
FZ: However! It is also necessary to prove our good intentions before we begin by reciting our MOTHERS OF INVENTION ANTI-SMUT LOYALTY OATH.
Audience: Yeay! Yeah!
FZ: If the members of our rocking teen combo will please repeat after me:
(I, Jeff Simmons/Mark Volman/Howard Kaylan/Ian Underwood/George Duke/Aynsley Dunbar)
Do hereby solemnly swear
(Do hereby solemnly swear)
In accordance with the regulations in the contract with this here rock & roll engagement
(In accordance with regulations in the contract of this here rock & roll engagement)
And the imbecilic laws of the state of Florida
(And the IMBECILIC laws of the state of Florida)
And respective regulations perpetrated by rednecks everywhere
(And respective regulations perpetrated by REDNECKS EVERYWHERE)
DO HEREBY SOLEMNLY SWEAR
(DO HEREBY SOLEMNLY SWEAR)
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES
(UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES)
TO REVEAL MY TUBE
(TO REVEAL MY TUBE)
AND/OR PENIS ANY PLACE ON THIS STAGE.
(AND/OR PENIS ANY PLACE ON THIS STAGE.)
This does not include private showings in the motel room however.
(This does not include private showings in the motel room, which is the Ramada Inn.)
Players On This Song
- Frank Zappa - Vocal
- Mark Volman - Vocal
- Howard Kaylan - Vocal
- Jeff Simmons - Vocal
- George Duke - Keyboards, Vocal
- Ian Underwood - Vocal
- Aynsley Dunbar - Drums, Vocal
Records On Which This Song Has Appeared
FZ Albums & Side Projects
Tribute & Cover Albums
Notes About This Song
- Zappa came up with this in response to the news story about Jim Morrison supposedly having exposed himself on stage during a concert in Miami, Florida.