How's Your Bird? (The Track)

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(You dirty fink!)
Hey Baby
A--what's the word?
Hey Baby
Now, have you heard?
What's the latest?
A--how's your bird?
A--how's your brother?
An' how's your mother?
An' how's Aunt Fanny?
An' how's your granny?
This is absurd
A--how's your bird?
(Excuse me...)
A--how's your bunion?
An' how's your grunion?
Now I'm stuck
A--lots o' luck
This is absurd
A--how's your bird?
A--how's your fern?
(I don't love you... yes)
An' how your ear lobe?
(Dirty fink)
An' how's your nose
(You dirty fink!)
How's your elbow?
An' how's your foot?
(... natural fink! Find out... sister...)
An' don't forget your sister
(I've never...)
An' you know, like I said . . .

Players On This Song

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared


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Tribute & Cover Albums

Notes About This Song

Written by FZ after Ray Collins suggested the idea to him. The first Zappa/Collins collaboration at Pal Studio.

The title comes from one of the catch-phrases Steve Allen would use on his TV show in which birds and ferns would often feature...

"Schmock, schmock! How's your bird?", "Bet your bird", "Hows your fern?", "Ferns for your creel"

A Fanny/Granny couplet would appear again in Debra Kadabra on Bongo Fury.

On 14th March 1963 FZ appeared on the Steve Allen show performing his Concerto For Two Bicycles he ended the interview with a plug for the record.

Steve Allen: Is there anything you like to say in closing?

FZ: Yes I would. Next week our record is being released called "How's Your Bird?" (audience laughter)

Steve Allen: Really?

FZ:Yes. I brought a dub of it over here, I don't think you heard it yet, and it's uh . . . go and buy it, it's wonderful. (audience laughter)

Steve Allen: Crazy.

FZ: It's got everything but a bicycle in it.

CC Clues In This Song

  • Nose: "How's your nose?"