Audience Participation/The Dance Contest

FZ: You know what time is, don't you? . . . I— 'Cause know a lot of you people I s— I see the same people here tonight that I've seen for many of these shows . . . and I re— I really appreciate the fact that you came back. Thank you. Okay. This is—for those of you who haven't been here before—this is Audience Participation Time. Now, tonight, since this is Halloween, we're gonna— Hi, there! You're a cute girl. Come up here . . . Yeah, you. Come here . . . Hi. What's your name?<BR? Janet The Planet: Janet The Planet.
FZ: Jan The Plan?
Janet The Planet: Janet The Planet.
FZ: Janet The Planet? Janet, hold this. I'm pleased to meet you by the way. Thank you. Okay, Janet is going to administer discipline to a couple of members of the audience. Hey . . . You want some? Okay, come on. Don't step on him, here. What's your name?
John: Hey, my name is John.
FZ: All right, John. Janet, how d'you feel about John?
Janet The Planet: It's fun.
FZ: Janet . . .
Janet The Planet: I'd like to request a friend's presence.
FZ: You wanna request a friend's presence?
Janet The Planet: Yes.
FZ: What's the friend's name?
Janet The Planet: Her name is Donna U Wanna.
FZ: Donna U Wanna? Would Donna U Wanna, please, step to the podium. It's Donna U Wanna, hey . . . And what is this in the bottle? What is— Yoo-Hoo, oh, hey . . .
Donna U Wanna: Hi!
FZ: Ok. Are you gonna be her assistance in this abusage here? Ok, here's what you do. Do we have any oth— Do we have a utensil for Donna U Wanna? Is there any? Do you take this? Is there anything that Donna U Wanna can use to whip this poor boy? Where's the whip? . . . Okay! This, this is a real whip. Hey, this is Halloween, we don't fuck around! All right . . . Hey, relax, there's plenty— We're gonna have plenty of fun 'n games up here during Audience Participation Time, okay? Uh, would that young lady please come up here, that one there, yes, send her right on up. You were here last night for "Disco Boy." You were the one I was going, "You never go doody, that's what you think," that's right. Okay. Now, just relax. Just hold yourself in abeyance momentarily because we have to get on with Phase One of Audience Participation! You, with the white. You, come up here. You. Okay. Now. You're sure you want this?
John: I don't know if I can go through with this if that's a real whip.
FZ: It's a real whip!
John: A real whip!
FZ: You can, look, you can quit if you want.
John: No, no, I'll go . . .
FZ: You . . .
John: Just hit me softly, hit me softly.
FZ: No, uh-um . . . yeah . . .
John: Yeah, that's right, I know . . . Okay, go all the way!
FZ: All right . . . hi, there, what's your name?
Chris: Chris! That's Chris!
FZ: Pleased to meet you, Chris. Okay.
Angel: What about me, you know?
FZ:Wait a minute, what is your name?
Angel: Angel.
FZ: Angel, my God . . . now look, this, this guy here who looks so . . . What? . . . Oh, waitiminnit. Oh, how fun . . . now, listen. This guy here, as, you John, you really asked for it, he thought we were just gonna had fun up here. John. They're going to beat the living shit out of John tonight. Okay. Now, John, I want you to make yourself comfortable . . . all right. Just put the, there you go, John. Now, sit, make yourself comfortable on any place on the stage. You shouldn't stand up for this because it'll take too much energy. Better to just lie down on your, there, there on the side, that's it. Okay. Now. What you're watching here tonight is not merely Audience Participation, it is a re-enactment of the sum total of modern civilization. John represents the abused, down-trodden artists of the world . . . Here we have the president of Warner Bros. Records, the head of the Warner Bros. legal department, and two famous attorneys from Gang, Tyre & Brown. Okay. Give him his contract!

FZ: Hey, John, more agony! More agony, John! This really hurts, John! It's terrible. It's painful. Get down, John. John, you're a wonderful actor. An academy award is yours, John. Plead.
Roy: Dominus vobisc— biscum . . .
FZ: All right, John, John, hold it, hold it, hold it. All right, wait a minute. No, just a moment. John, hey, John, okay, John . . . Can you dance?
John: Yeah, I can dance.
FZ: Are you good? Wait a minute . . .
John: . . . Can-Can. The Can-Can.
FZ: The Can . . . The Can-Can? Wait a minute. Can you guys dance? You can . . .
Janet The Planet: In a horizontal position.
FZ: You can, oh, hey! Say that again, wait a minute. I've just asked this girl if she can dance and she said: Janet The Planet: In a horizontal position.
John: Frank!
FZ: What?
John: You don't wanna wear this, do ya?
FZ: . . . no, hell, no. My nose is big enough already. All right! This is chaos, stop it! Stop! Stop! All right. It is now time to get into the meat of our performance, and that is the Dance Contest. Now, last night we had ten people up on the stage, maybe twelve, who knows. They were dancing and twirling and trying to keep the beat to "The Black Page #2." Unfortunately, this stage is too small to accommodate the type of spectacle that I wanna put into this film. We don't want just a few people on the stage, we want everybody in the audience trying to dance to this stupid song, so stand up! Stand up! Stand up! All right! Everybody dance to this song, but remember, hey, keep, keep, keep the aisles clear, keep the aisles clear, you never, you never know when there's gonna be an emergency. Okay. The name of this song is "The Black Page #2." One, two, three, four!

Recordings

2012 AAAFNRAA (Baby Snakes Soundtrack)

CC Clues

• Nose
• Warner Brothers