You Are What You Is (The Track)

Lyrics

You Are What You Is version

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
A cow don't make ham
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis

A foolish young man
From a middle class fam'ly
Started singin' the blues
'Cause he thought it was manly
Now he talks like the Kingfish (Saffiiiee!)
From "Amos & Andy" (Holy mack'l dere! Holy mack'l dere!)
He tells you that chitlins (Chitlins!)
Well, they taste just like candy
He thinks that he's got
De whole thang down
From the Nivea Lotion
To de Royal Crown

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
A cow don't make ham
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis

A foolish young man
Of the Negro Persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian
He stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
He traded his dashiki (Uhuru!)
For some Jordache Jeans
He learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself
"I ain't no nigger no more"
Hey! Hey! Hey!

"I don't understand you..."
BWANA MA-COO-BAH
"Would you please speak more clearly?"
MERCEDES BAINNNNNNNZ

Who is who (I don't know!)
'N what is what (Somethin' I just don't know!)
'N why is this (Tell me now!)
Appropriot (That's a funny pronunciation if'n ever I heard one!)
If you don't like (Where'd you get that word?)
What you has got ("Appropriot"? The word is not...)
Drop it in the dirt (Drop it, yeah!)
'N let it rot (I can smell it now!)
Someone else (Here de come! Here de come!)
Will surely come (I told you they was comin'!)
'N pick it up (That's right!)
'Cause he wants some (An' he wants it for free!)
And when one day (There will come a day!)
You wonder who (I wonder, too!)
You used to was (Who I was anyway!)
'N what you do (I used to work at the post office!)
You'll scratch your head (But I don't wanna un-do my doo!)
'N look around (Just to see what's goin' on!)
But what you lost (Can't seem to find it!)
Will not be found (A Mercedes Benz!)

Do you know what you are? (I know...)
You are what you is (... I'm the kinda guy...)
You is what you am (... That ought to be drivin'...)
A cow don't make a ham (...A four-fifty SLC...)
You ain't what you're not (... A big ol' red one...)
So see what you got (...With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk!)
You are what you is (I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin'!)
An' that's all it is (Gimme a five-dollar bill...)
You are what you is (... And an overcoat, too!)
An' that's all it is (Where's my waitress? Yeah!)
You are what you is (Robbie, take me to Greek Town!)
An' that's all it is (I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband!)
You are what you is (I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club y'all!)
An' that's all it is (I'm goin' down 'n work the wall 'n work the floor... )
You are what you is (... 'N work the pipe 'n work the wall...)
An' that's all it is (... Some more!)

Thing-Fish version

THING-FISH:
Straighten up in dat chair and pay attentium! People, dis is fo yo' own good! Do YOU know what YOU are?

MAMMY NUN ENSEMBLE (& THING-FISH): (displaying Dummy #1)
Do you know what you are? (Dat what I ast ya!)
You are what you is
You is what you am (And dat de trufe!)
A cow don't make ham (I meant dat now!)
You ain't what you're not (Not even hardly!)
So see what you got (And you got a lot o' lookin' t'do, junior!)
You are what you is (Dat entirely too correct!)
An' that's all it 'tis! (Uh-huh!)

A foolish young man (Bring dat dummy ovuh heah 'n show it to 'em!)
Stashed away in San Quentim
Ate de Mys'try Potatoes (Told ya 'bout dem 'taters!)
EVIL PRINCE was inventin'
Now he talk like de THING-FISH ( (manipulating the dummy) "Hmmmm, Saffiiiee!")
An' he look like a MAMMY! ( (manipulating the dummy) "See de mammy, now! See de mammy, now!")
His fav'rit CO-LOG-NUMM (Smell like... chitlins!)
Is de one dey call 'SAMMY'! (One-Adam-Twelve, see de MAMMY!)
He finally layin' (Armed 'n dangerous, reproach wit cautium!)
De whole thang down,
'Cept de Nivea Lotium (Rub it on good, now!)
An de Royal Crown (Take good care o' dat "ash"!)

Do you know what you are? (You's a wimp, she's a shrew!)
You are what you is (Got dat?)
You is what you am (One-Adam-Twelve, see de mammy agin'!)
A cow don't make ham (And it never will!)
You ain't what you're not, (Unless sciene do somethin' 'bout it!) So see what you got! (I know dey woikin' on it...)
You are what you is, (Underneath Virginia!)
An' that's all it 'tis! ("Boog-boog'm, Dano..." MAMMY ONE!)

MAMMY NUN ENSEMBLE (& THING-FISH): (showing Dummy #2)
A foolish young man
Of de negro persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian
He stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
He trade his dashiki ( (manipulating the dummy) "Uhuru!")
For some Jordache Jeans!
He learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself:
"I ain't no..."("... nignint...")
"... no more!"
Hey! Hey! Hey!

THING-FISH:
One-Adam-Twelve, see de "nignint" wit knife! Proceed wif cautium! Knife may be open."

MAMMY NUN ENSEMBLE:
BWANA MA-COO-BAH!

HARRY:
All Right! Let's go!

MAMMY NUN ENSEMBLE:
MERCEDES BAINNNZZZZZ!

MAMMY NUN ENSEMBLE (& SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON):
Who is who (I don't know!)
'N what is what (Somethin' I just don't know!)
'N why is this (Tell me now!)
Appropriot (That's a funny pronunciation if'n ever I heard one!)
If you don't like (Where'd you get that word?)
What you has got ("Appropriot"? The word is not...)
Drop it in the dirt (Drop it, yeah!)
'N let it rot (I can smell it now!)
Someone else (Here de come! Here de come!)
Will surely come (I told you they was comin'!)
'N pick it up (That's right!)
'Cause he wants some (An' he wants it for free!)
And when one day (There will come a day!)
You wonder who (I wonder, too!)
You used to was (Who I was anyway!)
'N what you do (I used to work at the post office!)
You'll scratch your head (But I don't wanna un-do my doo!)
'N look around (Just to see what's goin' on!)
But what you lost (Can't seem to find it!)
Will not be found (A Mercedes Benz!)

Do you know what you are? (I know...)
You are what you is (... I'm the kinda guy...)
You is what you am (... That ought to be drivin'...)
A cow don't make a ham (...A four-fifty SLC...)
You ain't what you're not (... A big ol' red one...)
So see what you got (...With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk!)
You are what you is (I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin'!)
An' that's all it is (Gimme a five-dollar bill...)
You are what you is (... And an overcoat, too!)
An' that's all it is (Where's my waitress? Yeah!)
You are what you is (Robbie, take me to Greek Town!)
An' that's all it is (I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband!)
You are what you is (I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club y'all!)
An' that's all it is (I'm goin' down 'n work the wall 'n work the floor... )
You are what you is (... 'N work the pipe 'n work the wall...)
An' that's all it is (... Some more!)

Players On This Song

You Are What You Is version

See You Are What You Is.

Thing-Fish version

• Ike Willis rhythm guitar and vocals
• Ray White rhythm guitar and vocals
• Tommy Mars keyboards
• Arthur Barrow bass
• Chad Wackerman drums

• Thing-Fish: Ike Willis
• Mammy Nun Ensemble: Ray White et al.
• Harry: Terry Bozzio

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

• You Are What You Is / Pink Napkins (04:36) - Frank Zappa (1981)
• You Are What You Is / Pink Napkins (04:36) / Harder Than Your Husband (02:28) / Soup 'n Old Clothes (07:50) - Frank Zappa (1981)
• You Are What You Is / You Are What You Is (04:23) - Frank Zappa (1981)
• You Are What You Is / Harder Than Your Husband (02:28) - Frank Zappa (1982)
• Valley Girl (04:50) / You Are What You Is - Frank Zappa (1982)

Zappa Albums & Side Projects

• You Are What You Is
• What's New In Loreley?
• Thing-Fish
• Buffalo

Notes About This Song

"You Are What You Is" was accompanied by a music video: the only one Zappa ever made in his life. (See: You Are What You Is (The Music Video))

CC Clues In This Song

• The song makes references to many songs at the end: "Wonderful Wino" ("Gimme a five-dollar bill / And an overcoat, too!"), "Lonesome Cowboy Burt" ("Where's my waitress? Yeah!"), "Harder Than Your Husband" ("I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband!") and "Mudd Club", into which the song fades on both You Are What You Is and Thing-Fish
• There is also a reference to Greek Town.
• Mentions Cars: The line "MERCEDES BAINNNNNNNZ", and the "Four-Fifty SLC", which was a kind of Mercedes.
• The line "He talks like the Kingfish from Amos & Andy" references Amos & Andy. (Note that the Kingfish would later lead to the Thing-Fish.)
• "Boog 'em, Dano" is a reference to "Book 'em, Danno" from the TV series Hawaii Five-O.
• "One-Adam-Twelve is a reference to the TV series.