Difference between revisions of "Lonesome Cowboy Burt (Swaggart Version)"
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==Lyrics== | ==Lyrics== | ||
| − | My name is Swaggart | + | <br>My name is Swaggart |
| − | I am an asshole | + | <br>I am an asshole |
| − | All my friends, | + | <br>All my friends, |
| − | They call me "Jim" | + | <br>They call me "Jim" |
| − | (Hi, Jim!) | + | <br>(Hi, Jim!) |
| − | I'm from Louisiana, | + | <br>I'm from Louisiana, |
| − | I make lots of money, | + | <br>I make lots of money, |
| − | But I fucked up | + | <br>But I fucked up |
| − | And committed a sin | + | <br>And committed a sin |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | Come out here to Californy, | + | <br>Come out here to Californy, |
| − | Just to find me | + | <br>Just to find me |
| − | Some pretty girls | + | <br>Some pretty girls |
| − | (No shit!) | + | <br>(No shit!) |
| − | The ones I seen | + | <br>The ones I seen |
| − | Gets me so horny; | + | <br>Gets me so horny; |
| − | Ruby lips, | + | <br>Ruby lips, |
| − | 'N teeth like pearls! | + | <br>'N teeth like pearls! |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | Wanna love 'em all! | + | <br>Wanna love 'em all! |
| − | In the name of Jesus! | + | <br>In the name of Jesus! |
| − | Wanna pretty girl - | + | <br>Wanna pretty girl - |
| − | I'll even pay! | + | <br>I'll even pay! |
| − | I'll buy 'em furs! | + | <br>I'll buy 'em furs! |
| − | I'll buy 'em jewelry! | + | <br>I'll buy 'em jewelry! |
| − | I'll never fuck them; | + | <br>I'll never fuck them; |
| − | Here's what I say: | + | <br>Here's what I say: |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim! | + | <br>I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim! |
| − | (Speakin' atcha!) | + | <br>(Speakin' atcha!) |
| − | I only give 'em the tips of him! | + | <br>I only give 'em the tips of him! |
| − | (Posin' atcha!) | + | <br>(Posin' atcha!) |
| − | My cowboy pants, | + | <br>My cowboy pants, |
| − | My cowboy dance, | + | <br>My cowboy dance, |
| − | My bold advance, | + | <br>My bold advance, |
| − | On this here prostitute... | + | <br>On this here prostitute... |
| − | Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey | + | <br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey |
| − | Yodel-oh-ooh-pee! | + | <br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee! |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | (He's lonesome Cowboy Jim | + | <br>(He's lonesome Cowboy Jim |
| − | Look at the tip of him!) | + | <br>Look at the tip of him!) |
| − | Come on in this place, | + | <br>Come on in this place, |
| − | 'N I'll buy you a taste, | + | <br>'N I'll buy you a taste, |
| − | You can sit on my face - | + | <br>You can sit on my face - |
| − | Where's my prostitute/waitress? | + | <br>Where's my prostitute/waitress? |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (thank you!) | + | <br>Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (thank you!) |
| − | Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (yessir!) | + | <br>Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (yessir!) |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | I'm an awful nice guy! (so you say) | + | <br>I'm an awful nice guy! (so you say) |
| − | I sweat all day in the sun! (oh yeah, yeah) | + | <br>I sweat all day in the sun! (oh yeah, yeah) |
| − | I'm a preacher by trade, | + | <br>I'm a preacher by trade, |
| − | Quite a bundle like me, | + | <br>Quite a bundle like me, |
| − | And I'm a feature ol' mumble-mumble | + | <br>And I'm a feature ol' mumble-mumble |
| − | Son-of-a-gun! | + | <br>Son-of-a-gun! |
| − | (He's a unionized roofin' old | + | <br>(He's a unionized roofin' old |
| − | Son-of-a-gun!) | + | <br>Son-of-a-gun!) |
| − | Fill in the blank! | + | <br>Fill in the blank! |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | When I get off, I get, | + | <br>When I get off, I get, |
| − | When I get off, I get, | + | <br>When I get off, I get, |
| − | When... I, I, I, I, | + | <br>When... I, I, I, I, |
| − | And then, Sharkey says: | + | <br>And then, Sharkey says:<ref>"Those readers unfamiliar with '''[[wikipedia:Laurie Anderson|Laurie Anderson]]''''s work might not realize that we're parodying her in the middle section of [[Lonesome Cowboy Burt (Swaggart Version)|'Lonesome']]---'Sharkey' is a character in several of her songs. I suggested including the relentless "ha ha ha ha ha ha" vocal part, ripped off from her song '[[wikipedia:O Superman|O Superman]]', and I came to regret it on some evenings when Frank decided to keep the section going on forever." - [[Mike Keneally]]</ref> |
| − | When I get off (pfft!) | + | <br>When I get off (pfft!) |
| − | I get sinful | + | <br>I get sinful |
| − | (Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on) | + | <br>(Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on) |
| − | I spoo | + | <br>I spoo |
| − | Till I goo | + | <br>Till I goo |
| − | On the rug | + | <br>On the rug |
| − | Then I find me | + | <br>Then I find me |
| − | Some eighteen ninety-five Luiann-, Louisiana style prostitute | + | <br>Some eighteen ninety-five Luiann-, Louisiana style prostitute |
| − | And make her do pornographic stunts while I watch | + | <br>And make her do pornographic stunts while I watch |
| − | And I have | + | <br>And I have |
| − | So much fun | + | <br>So much fun |
| − | Jay-zus! Jay-zus! | + | <br>Jay-zus! Jay-zus! |
| − | (Pornographic stunts and I have so much fun) | + | <br>(Pornographic stunts and I have so much fun) |
| − | (What?) | + | <br>(What?) |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | I huff | + | <br>I huff |
| − | And I puff | + | <br>And I puff |
| − | (Hratche-plche | + | <br>(Hratche-plche |
| − | Hratche-plche) | + | <br>Hratche-plche) |
| − | And I pump up my sanctified erection | + | <br>And I pump up my sanctified erection |
| − | Till my cheeks | + | <br>Till my cheeks |
| − | Puff up | + | <br>Puff up |
| − | An' turn red | + | <br>An' turn red |
| − | Along with my neck | + | <br>Along with my neck |
| − | (Say, varmint!) | + | <br>(Say, varmint!) |
| − | I drool | + | <br>I drool |
| − | On my shirt | + | <br>On my shirt |
| − | Takes a little while before I squirt | + | <br>Takes a little while before I squirt |
| − | But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet | + | <br>But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet |
| − | UH-OH! | + | <br>UH-OH! |
| − | Made a mistake this time! | + | <br>Made a mistake this time! |
| − | Now I've sinned | + | <br>Now I've sinned |
| − | Everybody! | + | <br>Everybody! |
| − | (What an asshole!) | + | <br>(What an asshole!) |
| − | Made a mistake and I sinned, uh! | + | <br>Made a mistake and I sinned, uh! |
| − | Made a mistake and I sinned, ow! | + | <br>Made a mistake and I sinned, ow! |
| − | Made a mistake and I sinned, what? | + | <br>Made a mistake and I sinned, what? |
| − | Made a mistake and I sinned | + | <br>Made a mistake and I sinned |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | Lonesome Cowboy Jim! | + | <br>Lonesome Cowboy Jim! |
| − | (Sinnin' atcha!) | + | <br>(Sinnin' atcha!) |
| − | Come smell this fringe-y shirt! | + | <br>Come smell this fringe-y shirt! |
| − | (Grinnin' atcha!) | + | <br>(Grinnin' atcha!) |
| − | My cowboy pants, | + | <br>My cowboy pants, |
| − | My cowboy dance, | + | <br>My cowboy dance, |
| − | My bold advance, | + | <br>My bold advance, |
| − | On this here prostitute... | + | <br>On this here prostitute... |
| − | Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-yeah | + | <br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-yeah |
| − | Yodel-oh-ooh-pee! | + | <br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee! |
| − | + | <br> | |
| − | (He's lonesome cowboy jim/scott, | + | <br>(He's lonesome cowboy jim/scott, |
| − | Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo | + | <br>Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo |
| − | Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat) | + | <br>Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat) |
| − | (Oh, tune me in now) | + | <br>(Oh, tune me in now) |
| − | Come on in this place, | + | <br>Come on in this place, |
| − | An' I'll buy you a taste, | + | <br>An' I'll buy you a taste, |
| − | 'N you can sit on my face - | + | <br>'N you can sit on my face - |
| − | Where's my prostitute? | + | <br>Where's my prostitute? |
| − | Opal, you hot little bitch! | + | <br>Opal, you hot little bitch! |
==Players On This Song== | ==Players On This Song== | ||
[[The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life|THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE]] version | [[The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life|THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE]] version | ||
| − | * [[Frank Zappa]] - lead guitar, computer-synth, vocal | + | * [[Biography|Frank Zappa]] - lead guitar, computer-synth, vocal |
* [[Ike Willis]] - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal | * [[Ike Willis]] - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal | ||
* [[Mike Keneally]] - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal | * [[Mike Keneally]] - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal | ||
* [[Bobby Martin]] - keyboards, vocal | * [[Bobby Martin]] - keyboards, vocal | ||
* [[Ed Mann]] - vibes, marimba, electronic percussion | * [[Ed Mann]] - vibes, marimba, electronic percussion | ||
| − | * [[Walt Fowler]] - trumpet, flugel horn, synth | + | * [[The Fowler Brothers|Walt Fowler]] - trumpet, flugel horn, synth |
| − | * [[Bruce Fowler]] - trombone | + | * [[The Fowler Brothers|Bruce Fowler]] - trombone |
* [[Paul Carman]] - alto sax, soprano sax, baritone sax | * [[Paul Carman]] - alto sax, soprano sax, baritone sax | ||
* [[Albert Wing]] - tenor sax | * [[Albert Wing]] - tenor sax | ||
| Line 143: | Line 143: | ||
===Tribute & Cover Albums=== | ===Tribute & Cover Albums=== | ||
==Notes About This Song== | ==Notes About This Song== | ||
| + | Variation of [[Lonesome Cowboy Burt]] with the lyrics altered to target televangelist [[Jimmy Swaggart]], who was caught in a [[wikipedia:Jimmy Swaggart#Scandals|1988 sex scandal]]. | ||
| − | + | <references/> | |
| − | |||
==CC Clues In This Song== | ==CC Clues In This Song== | ||
| − | + | ||
| − | |||
[[Category:Tracks]] | [[Category:Tracks]] | ||
[[Category:Tracks with sexual topics]] | [[Category:Tracks with sexual topics]] | ||
Latest revision as of 12:11, 13 September 2021
Contents
Lyrics
My name is Swaggart
I am an asshole
All my friends,
They call me "Jim"
(Hi, Jim!)
I'm from Louisiana,
I make lots of money,
But I fucked up
And committed a sin
Come out here to Californy,
Just to find me
Some pretty girls
(No shit!)
The ones I seen
Gets me so horny;
Ruby lips,
'N teeth like pearls!
Wanna love 'em all!
In the name of Jesus!
Wanna pretty girl -
I'll even pay!
I'll buy 'em furs!
I'll buy 'em jewelry!
I'll never fuck them;
Here's what I say:
I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim!
(Speakin' atcha!)
I only give 'em the tips of him!
(Posin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!
(He's lonesome Cowboy Jim
Look at the tip of him!)
Come on in this place,
'N I'll buy you a taste,
You can sit on my face -
Where's my prostitute/waitress?
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (thank you!)
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (yessir!)
I'm an awful nice guy! (so you say)
I sweat all day in the sun! (oh yeah, yeah)
I'm a preacher by trade,
Quite a bundle like me,
And I'm a feature ol' mumble-mumble
Son-of-a-gun!
(He's a unionized roofin' old
Son-of-a-gun!)
Fill in the blank!
When I get off, I get,
When I get off, I get,
When... I, I, I, I,
And then, Sharkey says:[1]
When I get off (pfft!)
I get sinful
(Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on)
I spoo
Till I goo
On the rug
Then I find me
Some eighteen ninety-five Luiann-, Louisiana style prostitute
And make her do pornographic stunts while I watch
And I have
So much fun
Jay-zus! Jay-zus!
(Pornographic stunts and I have so much fun)
(What?)
I huff
And I puff
(Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche)
And I pump up my sanctified erection
Till my cheeks
Puff up
An' turn red
Along with my neck
(Say, varmint!)
I drool
On my shirt
Takes a little while before I squirt
But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet
UH-OH!
Made a mistake this time!
Now I've sinned
Everybody!
(What an asshole!)
Made a mistake and I sinned, uh!
Made a mistake and I sinned, ow!
Made a mistake and I sinned, what?
Made a mistake and I sinned
Lonesome Cowboy Jim!
(Sinnin' atcha!)
Come smell this fringe-y shirt!
(Grinnin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-yeah
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!
(He's lonesome cowboy jim/scott,
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo
Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat)
(Oh, tune me in now)
Come on in this place,
An' I'll buy you a taste,
'N you can sit on my face -
Where's my prostitute?
Opal, you hot little bitch!
Players On This Song
THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE version
- Frank Zappa - lead guitar, computer-synth, vocal
- Ike Willis - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal
- Mike Keneally - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal
- Bobby Martin - keyboards, vocal
- Ed Mann - vibes, marimba, electronic percussion
- Walt Fowler - trumpet, flugel horn, synth
- Bruce Fowler - trombone
- Paul Carman - alto sax, soprano sax, baritone sax
- Albert Wing - tenor sax
- Kurt McGettrick - baritone sax, bass sax, contrabass clarinet
- Scott Thunes - electric bass, mini-moog
- Chad Wackerman - drums, electronic percussion
Records On Which This Song Has Appeared
Singles
FZ Albums & Side Projects
Tribute & Cover Albums
Notes About This Song
Variation of Lonesome Cowboy Burt with the lyrics altered to target televangelist Jimmy Swaggart, who was caught in a 1988 sex scandal.
- ↑ "Those readers unfamiliar with Laurie Anderson's work might not realize that we're parodying her in the middle section of 'Lonesome'---'Sharkey' is a character in several of her songs. I suggested including the relentless "ha ha ha ha ha ha" vocal part, ripped off from her song 'O Superman', and I came to regret it on some evenings when Frank decided to keep the section going on forever." - Mike Keneally
