Difference between revisions of "Lonesome Cowboy Burt (Swaggart Version)"

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==Lyrics==  
 
==Lyrics==  
 +
<br>My name is Swaggart
 +
<br>I am an asshole
 +
<br>All my friends,
 +
<br>They call me "Jim"
 +
<br>(Hi, Jim!)
 +
<br>I'm from Louisiana,
 +
<br>I make lots of money,
 +
<br>But I fucked up
 +
<br>And committed a sin
 +
<br>
 +
<br>Come out here to Californy,
 +
<br>Just to find me
 +
<br>Some pretty girls
 +
<br>(No shit!)
 +
<br>The ones I seen
 +
<br>Gets me so horny;
 +
<br>Ruby lips,
 +
<br>'N teeth like pearls!
 +
<br>
 +
<br>Wanna love 'em all!
 +
<br>In the name of Jesus!
 +
<br>Wanna pretty girl -
 +
<br>I'll even pay!
 +
<br>I'll buy 'em furs!
 +
<br>I'll buy 'em jewelry!
 +
<br>I'll never fuck them;
 +
<br>Here's what I say:
 +
<br>
 +
<br>I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim!
 +
<br>(Speakin' atcha!)
 +
<br>I only give 'em the tips of him!
 +
<br>(Posin' atcha!)
 +
<br>My cowboy pants,
 +
<br>My cowboy dance,
 +
<br>My bold advance,
 +
<br>On this here prostitute...
 +
<br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey
 +
<br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!
 +
<br>
 +
<br>(He's lonesome Cowboy Jim
 +
<br>Look at the tip of him!)
 +
<br>Come on in this place,
 +
<br>'N I'll buy you a taste,
 +
<br>You can sit on my face -
 +
<br>Where's my prostitute/waitress?
 +
<br>
 +
<br>Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (thank you!)
 +
<br>Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (yessir!)
 +
<br>
 +
<br>I'm an awful nice guy! (so you say)
 +
<br>I sweat all day in the sun! (oh yeah, yeah)
 +
<br>I'm a preacher by trade,
 +
<br>Quite a bundle like me,
 +
<br>And I'm a feature ol' mumble-mumble
 +
<br>Son-of-a-gun!
 +
<br>(He's a unionized roofin' old
 +
<br>Son-of-a-gun!)
 +
<br>Fill in the blank!
 +
<br>
 +
<br>When I get off, I get,
 +
<br>When I get off, I get,
 +
<br>When... I, I, I, I,
 +
<br>And then, Sharkey says:<ref>"Those readers unfamiliar with '''[[wikipedia:Laurie Anderson|Laurie Anderson]]''''s work might not realize that we're parodying her in the middle section of [[Lonesome Cowboy Burt (Swaggart Version)|'Lonesome']]---'Sharkey' is a character in several of her songs. I suggested including the relentless "ha ha ha ha ha ha" vocal part, ripped off from her song '[[wikipedia:O Superman|O Superman]]', and I came to regret it on some evenings when Frank decided to keep the section going on forever."  - [[Mike Keneally]]</ref>
 +
<br>When I get off (pfft!)
 +
<br>I get sinful
 +
<br>(Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on)
 +
<br>I spoo
 +
<br>Till I goo
 +
<br>On the rug
 +
<br>Then I find me
 +
<br>Some eighteen ninety-five Luiann-, Louisiana style prostitute
 +
<br>And make her do pornographic stunts while I watch
 +
<br>And I have
 +
<br>So much fun
 +
<br>Jay-zus! Jay-zus!
 +
<br>(Pornographic stunts and I have so much fun)
 +
<br>(What?)
 +
<br>
 +
<br>I huff
 +
<br>And I puff
 +
<br>(Hratche-plche
 +
<br>Hratche-plche)
 +
<br>And I pump up my sanctified erection
 +
<br>Till my cheeks
 +
<br>Puff up
 +
<br>An' turn red
 +
<br>Along with my neck
 +
<br>(Say, varmint!)
 +
<br>I drool
 +
<br>On my shirt
 +
<br>Takes a little while before I squirt
 +
<br>But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet
 +
<br>UH-OH!
 +
<br>Made a mistake this time!
 +
<br>Now I've sinned
 +
<br>Everybody!
 +
<br>(What an asshole!)
 +
<br>Made a mistake and I sinned, uh!
 +
<br>Made a mistake and I sinned, ow!
 +
<br>Made a mistake and I sinned, what?
 +
<br>Made a mistake and I sinned
 +
<br>
 +
<br>Lonesome Cowboy Jim!
 +
<br>(Sinnin' atcha!)
 +
<br>Come smell this fringe-y shirt!
 +
<br>(Grinnin' atcha!)
 +
<br>My cowboy pants,
 +
<br>My cowboy dance,
 +
<br>My bold advance,
 +
<br>On this here prostitute...
 +
<br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-yeah
 +
<br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!
 +
<br>
 +
<br>(He's lonesome cowboy jim/scott,
 +
<br>Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo
 +
<br>Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat)
 +
<br>(Oh, tune me in now)
 +
<br>Come on in this place,
 +
<br>An' I'll buy you a taste,
 +
<br>'N you can sit on my face -
 +
<br>Where's my prostitute?
 +
<br>Opal, you hot little bitch!
 
==Players On This Song==
 
==Players On This Song==
 
[[The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life|THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE]] version
 
[[The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life|THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE]] version
−
* [[Frank Zappa]] - lead guitar, computer-synth, vocal
+
* [[Biography|Frank Zappa]] - lead guitar, computer-synth, vocal
 
* [[Ike Willis]] - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal
 
* [[Ike Willis]] - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal
 
* [[Mike Keneally]] - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal
 
* [[Mike Keneally]] - rhythm guitar, synth, vocal
 
* [[Bobby Martin]] - keyboards, vocal
 
* [[Bobby Martin]] - keyboards, vocal
 
* [[Ed Mann]] - vibes, marimba, electronic percussion
 
* [[Ed Mann]] - vibes, marimba, electronic percussion
−
* [[Walt Fowler]] - trumpet, flugel horn, synth
+
* [[The Fowler Brothers|Walt Fowler]] - trumpet, flugel horn, synth
−
* [[Bruce Fowler]] - trombone
+
* [[The Fowler Brothers|Bruce Fowler]] - trombone
 
* [[Paul Carman]] - alto sax, soprano sax, baritone sax
 
* [[Paul Carman]] - alto sax, soprano sax, baritone sax
 
* [[Albert Wing]] - tenor sax
 
* [[Albert Wing]] - tenor sax
Line 20: Line 142:
 
* [[The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life]]
 
* [[The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life]]
 
===Tribute & Cover Albums===  
 
===Tribute & Cover Albums===  
−
==Notes About This Song==  
+
==Notes About This Song==
−
See also: [[Lonesome Cowboy Burt]].
+
Variation of [[Lonesome Cowboy Burt]] with the lyrics altered to target televangelist [[Jimmy Swaggart]], who was caught in a [[wikipedia:Jimmy Swaggart#Scandals|1988 sex scandal]].
 +
 
 +
<references/>
 +
 
 +
 
 
==CC Clues In This Song==  
 
==CC Clues In This Song==  
−
<blockquote>"Those readers unfamiliar with '''[[Laurie Anderson]]''''s work might not realize that we're parodying her in the middle section of [[Lonesome Cowboy Burt (Swaggart Version)|'Lonesome']]---'Sharkey' is a character in several of her songs. I suggested including the relentless "ha ha ha ha ha ha" vocal part, ripped off from her song '[[wikipedia:O Superman|O Superman]]', and I came to regret it on some evenings when Frank decided to keep the section going on forever."</blockquote>
+
 
−
<div align=right>— [[Mike Keneally]] referring to [[The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life]]</div>
 
  
 
[[Category:Tracks]]
 
[[Category:Tracks]]
 
[[Category:Tracks with sexual topics]]
 
[[Category:Tracks with sexual topics]]

Latest revision as of 12:11, 13 September 2021

Lyrics


My name is Swaggart
I am an asshole
All my friends,
They call me "Jim"
(Hi, Jim!)
I'm from Louisiana,
I make lots of money,
But I fucked up
And committed a sin

Come out here to Californy,
Just to find me
Some pretty girls
(No shit!)
The ones I seen
Gets me so horny;
Ruby lips,
'N teeth like pearls!

Wanna love 'em all!
In the name of Jesus!
Wanna pretty girl -
I'll even pay!
I'll buy 'em furs!
I'll buy 'em jewelry!
I'll never fuck them;
Here's what I say:

I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim!
(Speakin' atcha!)
I only give 'em the tips of him!
(Posin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!

(He's lonesome Cowboy Jim
Look at the tip of him!)
Come on in this place,
'N I'll buy you a taste,
You can sit on my face -
Where's my prostitute/waitress?

Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (thank you!)
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (yessir!)

I'm an awful nice guy! (so you say)
I sweat all day in the sun! (oh yeah, yeah)
I'm a preacher by trade,
Quite a bundle like me,
And I'm a feature ol' mumble-mumble
Son-of-a-gun!
(He's a unionized roofin' old
Son-of-a-gun!)
Fill in the blank!

When I get off, I get,
When I get off, I get,
When... I, I, I, I,
And then, Sharkey says:[1]
When I get off (pfft!)
I get sinful
(Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on)
I spoo
Till I goo
On the rug
Then I find me
Some eighteen ninety-five Luiann-, Louisiana style prostitute
And make her do pornographic stunts while I watch
And I have
So much fun
Jay-zus! Jay-zus!
(Pornographic stunts and I have so much fun)
(What?)

I huff
And I puff
(Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche)
And I pump up my sanctified erection
Till my cheeks
Puff up
An' turn red
Along with my neck
(Say, varmint!)
I drool
On my shirt
Takes a little while before I squirt
But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet
UH-OH!
Made a mistake this time!
Now I've sinned
Everybody!
(What an asshole!)
Made a mistake and I sinned, uh!
Made a mistake and I sinned, ow!
Made a mistake and I sinned, what?
Made a mistake and I sinned

Lonesome Cowboy Jim!
(Sinnin' atcha!)
Come smell this fringe-y shirt!
(Grinnin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-yeah
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!

(He's lonesome cowboy jim/scott,
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo
Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat)
(Oh, tune me in now)
Come on in this place,
An' I'll buy you a taste,
'N you can sit on my face -
Where's my prostitute?
Opal, you hot little bitch!

Players On This Song

THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE version

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

FZ Albums & Side Projects

Tribute & Cover Albums

Notes About This Song

Variation of Lonesome Cowboy Burt with the lyrics altered to target televangelist Jimmy Swaggart, who was caught in a 1988 sex scandal.

  1. ↑ "Those readers unfamiliar with Laurie Anderson's work might not realize that we're parodying her in the middle section of 'Lonesome'---'Sharkey' is a character in several of her songs. I suggested including the relentless "ha ha ha ha ha ha" vocal part, ripped off from her song 'O Superman', and I came to regret it on some evenings when Frank decided to keep the section going on forever." - Mike Keneally


CC Clues In This Song

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