Muffin Man

Lyrics

The Muffin Man is seated at the table
In the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen . . .
Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon
He gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants
And, brushing his scapular aside,
Proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt . . .
He turns to us and speaks:
"Some people like cupcakes better. I, for one,
Care LESS for them!"
Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully charged icing-anointment utensil,
He poots forth a quarter-ounce green rosetta
Near . . .
(Let's try that again . . . )
He poots forth a quarter-ounce green rosetta
Near the summit of a dense-but-radiant muffin of his own design
Later he says:
"Some people . . . some people like cupcakes exclusively,
While I myself say there is naught, nor ought there be,
Nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey earth
As that Prince of Foods . . . The Muffin!"

Girl, you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
He hung around till you found
That he didn't know nuthin'

Girl, you thought he was a man
But he only was a-puffin'
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin'

Girl, you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin'

FZ: Bruce Fowler on trombone, Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax and lead vocals, Terry Bozzio on drums, Tom Fowler on bass, Denny Walley on slide, George Duke on keyboards, Captain Beefheart on vocals and soprano sax and madness. Thank you very much for coming to the concert tonight. Hope you enjoyed it. Goodnight Austin, Texas, wherever you are!

Players On This Song

The track on Sonora is played by Paolo Lotti.

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Zappa Albums

• Bongo Fury
• FZ:OZ
• You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 6
• Halloween
• Philly '76
• Halloween 77

• Strictly Commercial
• The Best Of Frank Zappa

• The Old Masters, Box III
• You Can't Do That On The Radio Anymore
• Strictly Commercial - Advance CD

• Schallplattenclub box

• An Evening In Detroit
• What's New In Loreley?
• Hammersmith Odeon (The Album)

Tributes & Cover Albums

• Various Artists: Sonora
• Feel The Food
• The Muffin Men
• Unmatched, Absolutely Five & Sex

Notes About This Song

Often performed live as a segue from Camarillo Brillo, although they originally appeared on different albums.

CC Clues In This Song

Zappa later named his recording studio "the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen" based on the lyrics of this song. The "quarter-ounce green rosetta" and the muffins would later return in the song A Little Green Rosetta. The over-sized spoon is made from chrome.