Paladin Routine

Lyrics

Narrator: As we join Paladin and his good friend Hey Boy in a plush San Francisco hotel, we find Hey Boy running down the stairs to greet his good companion friend Paladin and saying . . . ..

Hey Boy: Paladin what you want? Pineapple chicken? Almond duck? BBQ Pork? Sesame seed pork? Almond nut roll? Toyota Land Cruiser, Panasonic, Sony? What you want? Paladin, you old sack

Paladin: (Kaylan messes up) No Paladin. Pala . . . no Hey Boy. (laughter) No Hey Boy

Hey Boy: (Simmons teases Kaylan) You drunk, Paladin

Paladin: No Hey Boy, you little queen. Just book a room here in this plush San Francisco bistro for me and my . . . . . . .sister

Hey Boy: (with a lisp) Paladin commit incest

Paladin: Don't put words in my mouth Hey Boy. And if anybody asks where I am, tell them this . . . .(makes a gesture, possibly the middle finger.)

Hey Boy: Oh, Paladin. You gesture hypnotically

Narrator: And Paladin DOES gesture hypnotically as he reaches into the parket— the pocket of his pants and pulls forth the card of lust, danger, romance and adventure

Hant Hant
Hant Hant
Hant Hant
Hant Hant
Hant Hant Hant
Hant Hant Hant
Hoooooooooooo

Players On This Song

• Mark Volman - Narrator
• Jeff Simmons - Hey Boy
• Howard Kaylan - Pallidan

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

FZ Albums & Side Projects

• Freaks & Motherfuckers

Notes About This Song

• This is a parody of the 1957-1963 Western TV series Have Gun - Will Travel.