Difference between revisions of "The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary"

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==Lyrics==
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__NOTOC__
<p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
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==Versions of this Song==  
  <p> The adventures of GREGGERY PECCARY! </p>
 
  <p> <b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Oh, here comes GREGGERY,<br>
 
    Little GREGGERY PECCARY<br>
 
    The nocturnal gregarious<br>
 
    Wild swine . . . </p>
 
  <p> <b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>A peccary is a little pig with a white collar that usually hangs around between
 
    Texas and Paraguay, sometimes ranging as far west as Catalina </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Catalina, Catalina, Catalina! </p>
 
  <p> <b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>This particular peccary is part of that bold . . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Bold . . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p> New . . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>New . . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Breed . . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Breeding . . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>That distinguishes itself by markings which resemble a WIDE TIE directly
 
    below the white collar </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>If it's wide enough<br>
 
    Everyone will know<br>
 
    That the tie I'm wearing<br>
 
    Is a symbol<br>
 
    Of how nimble my mind will know<br>
 
    Ooh-ooh! </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>(Swank suave!) </p>
 
  <p> <b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Hoon-hoon hoonna-han<br>
 
    Hoonna hoonna </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Look out!<br>
 
    Here he comes again! </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Oh here comes GREGGERY PECCARY </p>
 
  <p>Yes it's cravy, cravy, yeah . . . </p>
 
  <p>Hoonna-han<br>
 
    Hoonna-han </p>
 
  <p> <b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Every morning, GREGGERY drives his little red Volkswagen to the ugly part
 
    of town where they keep the Government Buildings. </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p><i>Voodn, Voodn!</i> </p>
 
  <p> Boy it's so hard to find a place to park around here! </p>
 
  <p>Voo-voo-voo-nya-hoon </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p> GREGGERY PECCARY takes the elevator up to the eighty-third floor of a grim,
 
    gray, evil-looking building with a sign on the front reading: <b>'BIG SWIFTY
 
    &amp; ASSOCIATES, TREND-MONGERS'</b>. </p>
 
  <p>And what, might you ask, is a TREND MONGER? Well, a TREND MONGER is a person
 
    who dreams up a TREND (like <b>'The Twist'</b> ---or <b>'Flower Power'</b>),
 
    and spreads it throughout the land, using all the frightening little skills
 
    that Science has made available! </p>
 
  <p>And so it was, one fateful morning, GREGGERY PECCARY made his way through
 
    the Steno Pool . . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Hi Mildred!<br>
 
    Hello Gladys!<br>
 
    WANDA! </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p> Yes, from the moment they laid eyes on him, all the girls in the BIG SWIFTY
 
    Steno Pool <b>KNEW</b> . . . here was a nocturnal, gregarious wild swine <b>ON
 
    HIS WAY UP</b> . . . a PECCARY of Destiny, Adventure and <b>ROMANCE</b> .
 
    . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Is there any mail for me? </p>
 
  <p><b>Stenographers:</b> </p>
 
  <p>SWIFTY'S!<br>
 
    THIS IS BIG SWIFTY'S!<br>
 
    AT BIG SWIFTY'S WE ALL KNOW-OW-OW<br>
 
    (WO-WO)<br>
 
    YOU'LL GO<br>
 
    FOR ANY GIMMICK OR GIZMO! </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>WOULDN'T YOU RATHER BE INVOLVED<br>
 
    IN A SERIES OF COLORFUL<br>
 
    TIME-WASTING <b>TRENDS</b>? </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>AIR HOCKEY . . . biff . . . dush-h-h! </p>
 
  <p><b>Stenographers:</b> </p>
 
  <p>LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA<br>
 
    YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>IS YOUR WIFE SNORING BY THE SINK? </p>
 
  <p><b>Stenographers:</b> </p>
 
  <p>LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA<br>
 
    YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>AIN'T YOUR LIFE BORING, DON'TCHA THINK? </p>
 
  <p> <b>Stenographers:</b> </p>
 
  <p> YOUP YOUP YOUP-YOUP-YOUP YOUP YOUP </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER<br>
 
    WHEN THERE'S SOME LITTLE SOMETHING<br>
 
    TO DO! </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p> Does it matter that this waste of time is what makes a LIFE for you? Hmmmmm?
 
  </p>
 
  <p> <b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>I must plummet boldly forward to my ultra-avant laminated, simulated replica-mahogany
 
    desk, with the strategically-placed, imported, very hip water pipe, and the
 
    latest edition of the WHOLE EARTH CATALOG, and rack my agile mind for a spectacular
 
    new <b>TREND</b>, thereby rejuvenating our limping economy, and providing
 
    for bored &amp; miserable people everywhere some great new <b>'THING'</b>
 
    to identify with! </p>
 
  <p><b>Stenographers:</b> </p>
 
  <p>WE HAVE GOT THE LITTLE ANSWERS<br>
 
    TO THE THINGS<br>
 
    THAT MIGHT BE BOTHERING YOU! </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>WE HAVE GOT YOUR LITTLE TOYS! </p>
 
  <p> <b>Stenographers:</b> </p>
 
  <p>(WE'RE BUSY MAKIN' 'EM!)<br>
 
    BUSY MAKIN' 'EM,<br>
 
    WE'RE BUSY MAKIN' 'EM </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p> BUSY MAKIN' EM </p>
 
  <p><b>Stenographers:</b> </p>
 
  <p>JUST FOR YOU! <br>
 
    Yoo-hoo-hoo! </p>
 
  <p> <b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p> Highly efficient, Miss Snodgrass! </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>And with that, GREGGERY turned and strode nonchalantly into his dinky little
 
    office with the desk and the catalog and the very hip water pipe, and proceeded,
 
    with a vigor and determination known only to piglets of a similarly diminutive
 
    proportion, to single-handedly invent <b>THE CALENDAR!</b> </p>
 
  <p> With his eyes rolled heaven-ward, and his little shiny pig-hoofs on the
 
    desk, GREGGERY ponders the question of <b>ETERNITY (and fractional divisions
 
    thereof)</b>, as mysterious ANGELIC VOICES sing to him from a great distance,
 
    providing the necessary clues for the construction of this thrilling new <b>TREND!</b>
 
  </p>
 
  <p><b>Angelic Voices:</b> </p>
 
  <p><b><i>SUNDAY</i></b> </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Sunday?<br>
 
    WOW!<br>
 
    SUNDAY, SATURDAY . . . TUESDAY THROUGH<br>
 
    'MONDAY - MONDAY'!<br>
 
    SUNDAY, SATURDAY </p>
 
  <p> <b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>And thus THE CALENDAR, in all of its colorful disguises was presented to
 
    the bored &amp; miserable people everywhere! </p>
 
  <p>GREGGERY issued a memo on it, whereupon the entire contents of the Steno
 
    Pool identified with it <b>STRENUOUSLY</b>, and WORSHIPPED IT as a WAY OF
 
    LIFE, and took their little pills by it, and went back 'n forth from work
 
    by it, and paid their rent by it, and before long they were even having BIRTHDAY
 
    PARTIES IN THE OFFICE by it, because NOW, AT LAST, GREGGERY PECCARY's exciting
 
    new invention had made it possible for everyone to find out <b>HOW OLD THEY
 
    WERE!</b> </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>What hath GOD wrought? </p>
 
  <p> <b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Unfortunately, there were some people who simply DID NOT WISH TO KNOW, and
 
    that's why, on his way home from the office one night, GREGGERY was attacked
 
    by a <b>RAGE OF HUNCHMEN!</b> </p>
 
  <p> Making his way through the evening traffic, GREGGERY notices that the other
 
    vehicles which crowd and bump his little red car are all inhabited by slowly-aging
 
    'VERY HIP YOUNG PEOPLE.' </p>
 
  <p>They appear to be casting sinister glances toward him through their glinting
 
    acid burn-out eyeballs, trying to run him off the road, or make him bump into
 
    something . . . giving strong evidence of <b>HOSTILE AGGRESSION!</b> </p>
 
  <p> To elude them, GREGGERY takes the SHORT FOREST EXIT off the expressway.
 
    They zoom after him in all manner of cars, trucks, garishly-painted buses,
 
    and motorcycles. </p>
 
  <p> GREGGERY takes a bumpy trail off the main SHORT FOREST ROAD, which leads
 
    him up the side of a FAMOUS (and conveniently placed) MOUNTAIN, and into a
 
    strange cave on the edge of a cliff, not far from a LITTLE TWISTED TREE .
 
    . . with eyes on it. </p>
 
  <p>Meanwhile, the enraged HUNCHMEN (and HUNCH-WOMEN) rumble through the SHORT
 
    FOREST until (realizing the little swine has escaped), they decide to park
 
    their steaming vehicles in a circular pseudo-Wagon Train formation . . . and
 
    have a <b>LOVE-IN!</b> </p>
 
  <p> Under the influence of a fantastic amount of TRENDY CHEMICAL AMUSEMENT AID,
 
    they proceed to perform lewd acts, rip each other off for small personal possessions,
 
    and dance with depraved abandon in the vicinity of a six-foot pile of transistor
 
    radios (each one tuned to a different station). </p>
 
  <p> <b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>WHAT? </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>The HUNCHMEN finally expire from exhaustion, and GREGGERY, who has viewed
 
    the proceedings from a safe distance, breathes a sigh of relief . . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Phew! </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p> Only to be terrified once again by a roar of immense laughter . . . </p>
 
  <p><b>Billy:</b> </p>
 
  <p>HO! HO! HO! </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Which seems to be rumbling up from the very depths of the cave in which he
 
    has hidden his car! </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Good Lord! What was that? </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p> GREGGERY doesn't realize he has concealed himself inside the very mouth
 
    of </p>
 
  <p><b>Billy:</b> </p>
 
  <p>HO! HO! HO! </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p><b>BILLY THE MOUNTAIN!</b> </p>
 
  <p><b>Billy:</b> </p>
 
  <p>HO! HO! HO! </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p> And, as you all know, whenever BILLY laughs, rocks and boulders hack up,
 
    and the air for miles around is filled with tons of dust, forming a series
 
    of huge <b>BROWN CLOUDS!</b> </p>
 
  <p><b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?<br>
 
    WHO IS MAKING THOSE CLOUDS THESE DAYS?<br>
 
    WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?<br>
 
    BETTER ASK A <b>PHILOSTOPHER</b> 'N SEE WHAT HE SAYS! </p>
 
  <p> <b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>GREGGERY stops at a gas station and makes a mysterious phone call . . . </p>
 
  <p> <b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>IS THIS THE OLD LOFT<br>
 
    WITH THE PAINT PEELIN' OFF IT<br>
 
    BY THE CHINESE POLICE<br>
 
    WHERE THE DOGS ROLL BY? </p>
 
  <p> IS THIS WHERE THEY KEEP<br>
 
    THE PHILOSTOPHERS NOW,<br>
 
    WITH THE RUGS &amp; THE DUST,<br>
 
    WHERE THE BOOKS GO TO DIE? </p>
 
  <p> HOW MANY YEZ GOT?<br>
 
    SAY YEZ GOT QUITE A FEW,<br>
 
    JUST SITTIN' AROUND THERE<br>
 
    WITH NOTHIN' TO DO? </p>
 
  <p> WELL I JUST CALLED YEZ UP<br>
 
    'CAUSE I WANTED TO SEE<br>
 
    A <b>PHILOSTOPHER</b> BE<br>
 
    OF ASSISTANCE TO ME! </p>
 
  <p><b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p> GREGGERY receives information that <i><b>'The Greatest Living PHILOSTOPHER
 
    Known to Mankind'</b></i> is currently in possession of the very information
 
    in question, and, furthermore, this information could be HIS, if only GREGGERY
 
    would attend a <b>'SPECIAL THERAPEUTIC GROUP ASSEMBLY'</b> (Classes now forming),
 
    and available at a special low low introductory fee . . . and now, here he
 
    is, 'The Greatest Living PHILOSTOPHER Known to Mankind', <b>QUENTIN ROBERT
 
    DeNAMELAND!</b> Take it away! </p>
 
  <p> <b>Quentin:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Folks, as you can see for yourself, the way this clock over here is behaving,
 
    <b>TIME IS OF AFFLICTION!</b> Now this might be cause for alarm among a portion
 
    of you, as, from a certain experience, I TEND TO PROCLAIM: <b>'THE EONS ARE
 
    CLOSING'!</b> </p>
 
  <p> <b>Narrator:</b> </p>
 
  <p>Make your checks payable to <b>'QUENTIN ROBERT DeNAMELAND, <i>Greatest Living
 
    Philostopher Known to Mankind</i>'!</b> </p>
 
  <p> <b>Greggery:</b> </p>
 
  <p>WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?<br>
 
    WHO IS MAKING THOSE CLOUDS THESE DAYS?<br>
 
    WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?<br>
 
    IF YOU ASK A <b>PHILOSTOPHER</b>, HE'LL SEE<br>
 
    THAT YOU PAYS! </p>
 
  
==Players On This Song==
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===''Zappa Wazoo'' version===
* [[Frank Zappa]] - percussion
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* [[The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary: Movement I]]
* [[George Duke]] - keyboards
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* [[The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary: Movement II]]
* [[Bruce Fowler]] - all brass
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* [[The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary: Movement III]]
* [[James Youman]] - bass
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* [[The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary: Movement IV - The New Brown Clouds]]
* [[Ruth Underwood]] - percussion
 
* [[Chad Wackerman]] - drum overdubs
 
  
==Records On Which This Song Has Appeared==
 
  
===Zappa Albums===
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===''Joe's Domage'' version===
*[[Studio Tan]]
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* [[When It's Perfect...]]
*[[L&auml;ther]]
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* [[The New Brown Clouds (1972 - unknown)]]
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* [[Blessed Relief / The New Brown Clouds]]
  
===Tribute & Cover Albums===
 
*[[Greggery Peccary & Other Persuasions]]
 
  
==Notes About This Song==
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===''Läther'' version===
==CC Clues In This Song==
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* [[The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary (1975 - Record Plant & UCLA)]]
The track on [[Studio Tan]] and [[L&auml;ther]] is citing a lot of tunes by Zappa and others, including [[Big Swifty]], [[Billy The Mountain]], ...
 
  
[[Motorcycles (CC)]]
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[[Category:Fictional characters|Adventures Of Greggery Peccary]]
 
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[[Category:Animals|Adventures Of Greggery Peccary]]
[[Category:Tracks|Adventures Of Greggery Peccary, The]]
 
[[Category:Them Or Us (The List)|Adventures Of Greggery Peccary, The]]
 
[[Category:The Real Frank Zappa Book (The List)|Adventures Of Greggery Peccary, The]]
 

Latest revision as of 10:17, 19 August 2021