The Red Throbber

From Zappa Wiki Jawaka
Jump to navigation Jump to search


(Part 1)


I work all day
At a real dull job
Just t'make a few bucks
To get loaded on the weekend


I work all day
At a real dull job
Just t'make a few bucks
To get loaded on the weekend


To buy some Beatle records
And The Led Zeppelin
A bunch of jivey clothes
And a car to cruise around in


spoken:


Bring the band on down behind me boys . . .
Lemme tell you people
One time I came home
I walked in the door
I looked around for my old lady
She's hot
She's a real hot girl
Real groovy & everything
We been shackin' up for three weeks
Just like paradise


Doot Doot Doot
Doo-wow
Par-o-dise now
Doot Doot Doot
Doo-wow


spoken:


Well, I'm a little late getting' home, you see
I stopped to get a bunch of beer
On my way home from the airport
That's where I work, you see
I'm a customs inspector at the airport
Eight hours a day
Me & my specially trained
Semi-vicious dog
Checkin' all the rock & roll creeps & dope fiends
T'see if they're try'na sneak any mind-expanding chemicals
Or stuff like that
Into our great nation


Doot Doot Doot
Doo-wow
Par-o-dise now
Doot Doot Doot
Doo-wow


[35.]


(2)


spoken:


This dog I got that works with me down there
Is real outa site
The government trained him & a bunch more
To go totally ape-shit from the smell of marijuana
Or especially hash
Fuckin' dog goes berserk over hash
That's that stuff them English rock & roll guys get off on
If my dog (Babbette we call her)
If Babbette smells any hash
She goes gnarlin' right in there
Chews on the suitcase or duffle bag or whatever
With a fury known only to other dogs who have been trained
To eat a big suitcase
(There was a picture of one of 'em in last month's Life Magazine


Anyway
The minute I see Babbette
Gnarlin' on a suitcase
I push a secret button under the bench
So Fred & Charlie come over and drag the sonofabitch away
Black card & all


If you get a black card when you're
Goin' through Customs
The guy at the bench makes out a paper on you
Another one tries
To look at your eyes
While the undercover dudes
All watch what you do


Doot Doot Doot
Doo-wow
Par-o-dise now
Doot Doot Doot
Doo-wow


Doot Doot Doot
Doo-wow
Par-o-dise now
Doot Doot Doot
Doo-wow


I work all day
At a real dull job
Just t'make a few bucks
To get loaded on the weekend


[36.]


(3)


spoken:


So I get home, see
I got the beer & I'm lookin' all around the house
For my fine old lady
Her name is Sharleena
Spells it S-H-A-R-L-E-E-N-A
It's sort of an Okie-type name
I known her for ten years
Ever since high school
When she used to work on the year book
She was so fine & smart
Could spell good & everything
I been secretly in love with her for long as I can remember
I didn't care if she had an Okie name
Her tits were real big
With angora
A mint green angora sweater on
Gives me a boner even to reflect on it
(That's why I like The Led Zeppelin . . .
Gives me a boner too . . . some of their songs
Are even about getting' boners)


So I get home, see
I got the beer & I got a boner
But my Sharleena . . .
Who I just work up the nerve three weeks ago
To ask her to shack up with me . . .
After ten years of secret, hot, beating off,
Anonymous love . . .
I get home
And Sharleena is gone
She is nowhere around . . .


And even though I'm a strong man . . .
Even though I work for
The Government
I broke down
And cried . . .

(Part 2)


[37.]


spoken:


I commence to worry, Ladies & Gentlemen
I pace the floor
I smoke 27 packages of Lucky Strike Cigarettes
I keep 'em rolled up in the sleeve of my
Aqua blue stretch T-shirt
That I always put on when I get home
Because I never know when I'm gonna want to
Go out & work on my car
I'm a compulsive person
Who gets off on cars . . .
Also dirty fingernails attract a special kind of girl,
Mostly the kind I like . . .
And the one girl I like the best
Who just craves dirty fingernails


My Sharleena


Is gone from me . . .
My mind is in a fever


Oh where has she gone
Where did my baby go
Where has she went to
People, I don't know
Somehow
I know that she'll return
Meanwhile
My heart will ever burn


Doot Doot Doo-Dip
I need her lovin' now
Doot Doot Doo-Dip
We made a lovers vow
Doot Doot Doo-Dip
She'd never do me wrong
Doot Doot Doo-Dip
But she's been gone so long


spoken:


I been home forty-five minutes alone
An' it seems like eternity


Where has she gone
Where did my baby go
Where has she went to
People, I don't know
I got to find out
I'm goin' crazy now
Where she has went to
And bring her home somehow


[38.]


(2)


So I whipped out my Ouija Board
I threw it into motion
I whipped out that Ouija Board
To check my girl's devotion


I called on the Ouija Board:
"Tell me what you know!"
To find where my old lady
Had the nerve to go


spoken:


I grabbed on to the Ouija Board dealie
I knew it was supposed to work better with two people workin' it
But I was desperate . . .
Love can make you desperate, Ladies & Gentlemen
And I was almost out of cigarettes
The beer was gone already
My T-Shirt sleeve was limp & horribly stretched
From stuffin' new packs in it . . .


SUDDENLY


The Ouija Board started moving
Spelling out some secret message
Chills ran down my spine


R-E-D
T-H-R-O-B-B-E-R


Red Throbber
Red Throbber
Red Throbber
Red Throbber


spoken:


It was all clear to me now
I knew my baby had done
The one thing that might drive us apart forever
I knew she had run away
To a Led Zeppelin orgy at The Chateau Marmont
I knew she was down there
Getting' flogged & eroticized


I passed out
All sweaty, with a broken heart
And in my delirious stupor
I dreamed of . . .


ANNOUNCER'S VOICE IN A DREAM:


The Red Throbber, Ladies & Gentlemen
A huge high-impact styrene vibrator
Powered by a 400 hour
24 volt waterproof
rass-studded black naugahyde
Battery strap: $37.98 with case


[39.]


(3)


spoken:


I could see my baby
Sprawled helplessly
On the floor of a Marmont Bungalow
Standing over her
In a pair of exotic python boots
And no shirt or underwear
With a real boss 3 day L.A. tan
With the big battery belt
With wires coming out all over it
Hooked to the end of the red plastic dork
With a motor in it
And the carrying case on the dresser
By Sharleena's angora sweater & rumpled brassiere
I could see
A gorgeous & kinky English Pop Star


(instrumental fill)


In my dream
The Vanilla Fudge comes in
They got a nine pound mud shark
With a motor in it
Embalmed in a munchkin plastic bath tub
Floating in a solution of equal parts
Liquid detergent & cheap wine
They keep it like that
To remind them of Seattle


(instrumental fill)


In my dream
The word is out at The Whisky A-Go-Go
Pop Stars from Famous Groups
And some wives and hot girlfriends
That nobody even knows about
All leave the club by separate exits
And make their way to the Marmont Bungalow
For a special game of cards
That only a few people know about


ANNOUNCER'S VOICE IN DREAM:


Is our studio audience ready?
Let's play YOU BET YOUR ASS.
The rules of the game are simple . . .
Take a deck of cards and play any game you like . . . poker, blackjack, anything. Instead of playing for money, what you win is TIME from your opponent. You win his or her time, during which the other person MUST do anything you tell them to do, no matter how . . . imaginative it might be. Are we ready in the bungalow?


[40.]


(4)


spoken:


Famous people from the rock & roll business
Waited in line to get into the bungalow
Discussing the origins
Of the muffled screams
Which occasionally drifted out . . .
Inside my naked Sharleena was losing heavily at black jack
By 10:30 she had lost over 65 hours
To be delivered into the hands of
All those communist dope fiend guitar players
And faggot singers with a high voice
Every one of 'em with an enormous boner
Plus some other pieces of perverted equipment
And big tongues


(instrumental/orchestral/dance number with colored lights & fog machine)


I woke up in a terrible sweat
God only knows how long I been sleeping
My heart was completely tore up
I was in a misery only a very few of you
Could really know
The worst part about it . . .
The sun was up & I had to go to work
Back to the airport
T'help our government catch creeps and dope fiends
With nothing to help me
Except my disarming wit
Penetrating intellectual ability
And my wonder dog: Babbette


(instrumental bridge)


I arrived at the airport & put on my uniform
I took my place behind the bench
Even though I knew deep down
I was unfit for this
Or any other job
Because I was so crazy . . .
Love will make your mind go wild, Ladies & Gentlemen
I went in the back for a minute
I wanted to take a leak
But for some strange reason, I brought my faithful dog, Babbette
I was so lonely . . .
I looked around & locked the door to the Government Property Toilet
That was when I fell in love with Babbette . . .


Note

  • Written for the 200 Motels movie but ultimately was not included.

CC Clues

Retrieved from "http://wiki.killuglyradio.com/index.php?title=The_Red_Throbber&oldid=57403"