John Smothers
John Smothers (April 4, 1930 - April 27, 2019) was a former police officer [1] and FZ's bodyguard or 'personal minder' from 1972 to 1984. He said that he used to be a bodyguard for The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, Dean Martin, Sister Soul and The Temptations too. Smothers was an imposing and muscular figure who, due to wearing false teeth, had a strange way of pronunciation and turning words and sentences into strange, unintentionally funny words and expressions, which amused Zappa. He appeared in Baby Snakes (1979).
"...he was the bodyguard. Very funny. We'd do a rehearsal and John would start dancing. He was like a big bear." - Allan Zavod interview by Avo Raup
Smothers also had a reputation as a practical joker. [2]
Bodyguarding career with Zappa
Zappa hired Smothers after the 1971 incident in the Rainbow Theatre in London when Zappa was pushed from stage, causing him to be hospitalized for several months.
Den Simms: How did your association with Smothers come about? Was he just somebody that you hired?
Frank Zappa: "Marty Perellis knows Smothers from Baltimore. Perellis is also from Baltimore. (...) I had three bodyguards before Smothers. (...) Then, along came Smothers. At first, at the beginning of the tour, he thought I was crazy. He tried to go home. He tried to get out of the job. But, he stayed with me for ten or eleven years." - Den Simms, Eric Buxton and Rob Samler's interview They're Doing the Interview of the Century, Part 3, September 1990.
After Smothers died, Arthur Barrow commented:
"Good bye to bald-headed John. He was great. He referred to the new guys in the band as "Puppies" - a good call, really. When we got to a sound check for a show, he would first make Frank's coffee, then go outside to bust the illegal T-shirt guys, confiscate the shirts and distribute to the band. He had some kind of expandable police baton (sap?) that he would use to scare off anyone that looked threatening near the front of the stage. All he had to do was whip it out with a mean look, and that usually got the message across. I never saw him rough anyone up, but he probably would have if needed. He was basically good natured. I also recall him saying once when we in NY or London, "He's in a bad mood - Gail is coming to town."
References to Smothers in Zappa's work
Smothers' distinctive speech is referenced in the song Dong Work For Yuda from Joe's Garage (1979), where Terry Bozzio imitates him as Bald-Headed John.[3] Several lines from this song were actual things Smothers once said or mispronounced. The song also references his wife, Freckles, who is also mentioned in the song Won Ton On.
Smothers is amongst the names thanked in the liner notes of The MOFO Project/Object (2006) album.
