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Hello, boys and girls.

Now, during this part of our program—

Audience member:

Louder! We can't hear you.


During this part of our program, we are going to perform for you various chamber music pieces—and also some zany Mothers Of Invention bullshit. You remember The Mothers Of Invention, that zany group.

We have the assistance of a famous pop star to help us tonight during our renowned ballet sequence.

And later on in the program, we're going to have our road manager, Dick Barber, come out and strangle a rubber chicken and make some funny noises for ya. And, as if that weren't enough, we're going to do our version of the birth of Frankenstein, live on stage, including a spark generator and a smoke bomb and a convulsing monster, which we construct out of Motorhead. And, let's see, what else are we gonna do?

That's about it.