“Someone Has Just Asked Me...”

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Audience: Zappa! Zappa! "Dinah-Moe Humm"! Hey! Come on, Frank! Zappa!

FZ: Howdy, folks . . . All right, folks, here's the deal. I'm gonna get myself tuned up and I'll introduce the band to you and then we'll play you one hell of a show, ladies and gentlemen.

Audience: Zappa! [...]

FZ: Hey, it's rock & roll time, ladies and gentlemen. Over there in the end, with a golden instrument that goes in and out, Bruce Fowler . . . And on trumpet, Walt Fowler . . . And on bass, Tom Fowler . . . On tenor saxophone and lead vocals, Napoleon Murphy Brock . . . On synthesizer, Don Preston . . . On drums, Ralph Humphrey . . . On drums, Chester Thompson . . . On guitar and harmonica, Jeff Simmons . . . And on keyboards, George Duke . . .

Audience: Hey, Frank! Ruth Underwood! . . .

FZ: Someone has just asked me where is Ruth Underwood. Well, I'll tell you, Ruth Underwood is back in Los Angeles. Ruth is, uh, well, how shall I say this? Ruth fell in love with somebody on the road and uh, had to go home and do something about it.

Audience: Hey, Frank! Frank! Where's Howie?

FZ: Steven McIntyre, I have a surprise for you. Your wife is having a B-A-B-Y and would love to have you come down there and take a look at it. I repeat. Steven McIntyre is a dad. Let's have a big round of applause for Steven. Congratulations, Steven!

Audience: Hey, Frank! Frank! Where's Howie? Where's Howie? Frank! . . . Frank, where's Aynsley?

FZ: Someone has just asked whatever happened to Aynsley Dunbar. Aynsley Dunbar is probably at this very moment in a drugstore, a Thrifty Drug Store, buying some silver fingernail polish.

Audience: Frank! Where's Howie? Frank! Where's Howie!

FZ: Howie— Someone has just asked me whatever happened to Howie. Howie is next to Mark somewhere. The name of this song, in response to a rapidly diminishing number of requests, is "Cosmik Debris." One, two, three, four . . .


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