The Crab-Grass Baby
Lyrics
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
Stroke me pompadour, pompaduooor, pompaduooor, pompaduooor. Stroke me pompadour, father. Stroke it nicely while I tell you about the problems I am having with my car and my girlfriend. Ooo-wo-woo, the white man's burden! Her and her girlfriend used to go out and booze it up and tear up the upholstery; rip the seats completely out, and so I got a fifty-six Olds. About the time I got it running decently, she got in it and wrecked the trans... tore it completely up, so I had to get another Oldsmobile (either that or go to Tijuana or go to BROWN MOSES way down in Egypt-Land). It's so hard on a child when his car is fucked up. Buy me a Volvo, faaather.
HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
Isn't it terrific, ARTIFICIAL RHONDA?
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
One-Adam-Twelve... see the enormous white pompadour! Ha-Ha-ha-ho! That's a good one! Hoo-hoo-hoo.
HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
He's so young, and yet, so wise!
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
I pooped my pants, pooped my pants, pooped my pants! I went doody, faaather, sob-sob-sob-sob-sob.
HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
His vocabulary is astonishing!
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
So what if you suck a little cock every once in a while?
HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
Oh, I'm so lucky to have a son like this!
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
Barf me out, gag me with a Volvo!
HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
I can't wait to show him to all the fellas down at the mine-shaft!
CRAB-GRASS BABY:
Take me to the movies. Buy me a balloon. Stroke me pompadour!
HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
Look! Look! Look at the pecker on him, wouldja! Goodjy-goodjy-goodjy-goo! Hoo hoo hoo!
THING-FISH:
Dis boy have a provlem! However, how 'bout a nice round of applause fo de Three Wise MAMMIES, comin' atcha outa chute numba five!
Players On This Song
- FZ (synclavier)
- Harry-as-a-Boy: Bob Harris
- Thing-Fish: Ike Willis
Records On Which This Song Has Appeared
Singles
Zappa Albums & Side Projects
Tribute & Cover Albums
Notes About This Song
CC Clues In This Song
- There is another reference to "Valley Girl" in this song ("Barf me out, gag me with a Volvo!"); this is the second on the Thing-Fish album after the one in the previous song.
- Mentions Cars: Oldsmobile and Volvo
- Mentions Mexico and Egypt: "(either that or go to Tijuana or go to BROWN MOSES way down in Egypt-Land)"
