Difference between revisions of "Lonesome Cowboy Burt (Swaggart Version)"

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==Lyrics==  
 
==Lyrics==  
My name is Swaggart
+
<br>My name is Swaggart
I am an asshole
+
<br>I am an asshole
All my friends,
+
<br>All my friends,
They call me "Jim"
+
<br>They call me "Jim"
(Hi, Jim!)
+
<br>(Hi, Jim!)
I'm from Louisiana,
+
<br>I'm from Louisiana,
I make lots of money,
+
<br>I make lots of money,
But I fucked up
+
<br>But I fucked up
And committed a sin
+
<br>And committed a sin
 
+
<br>
Come out here to Californy,
+
<br>Come out here to Californy,
Just to find me
+
<br>Just to find me
Some pretty girls
+
<br>Some pretty girls
(No shit!)
+
<br>(No shit!)
The ones I seen
+
<br>The ones I seen
Gets me so horny;
+
<br>Gets me so horny;
Ruby lips,
+
<br>Ruby lips,
'N teeth like pearls!
+
<br>'N teeth like pearls!
 
+
<br>
Wanna love 'em all!
+
<br>Wanna love 'em all!
In the name of Jesus!
+
<br>In the name of Jesus!
Wanna pretty girl -
+
<br>Wanna pretty girl -
I'll even pay!
+
<br>I'll even pay!
I'll buy 'em furs!
+
<br>I'll buy 'em furs!
I'll buy 'em jewelry!
+
<br>I'll buy 'em jewelry!
I'll never fuck them;
+
<br>I'll never fuck them;
Here's what I say:
+
<br>Here's what I say:
 
+
<br>
I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim!
+
<br>I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim!
(Speakin' atcha!)
+
<br>(Speakin' atcha!)
I only give 'em the tips of him!
+
<br>I only give 'em the tips of him!
(Posin' atcha!)
+
<br>(Posin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
+
<br>My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
+
<br>My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
+
<br>My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
+
<br>On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey
+
<br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!
+
<br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!
 
+
<br>
(He's lonesome Cowboy Jim
+
<br>(He's lonesome Cowboy Jim
Look at the tip of him!)
+
<br>Look at the tip of him!)
Come on in this place,
+
<br>Come on in this place,
'N I'll buy you a taste,
+
<br>'N I'll buy you a taste,
You can sit on my face -
+
<br>You can sit on my face -
Where's my prostitute/waitress?
+
<br>Where's my prostitute/waitress?
 
+
<br>
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (thank you!)
+
<br>Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (thank you!)
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (yessir!)
+
<br>Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (yessir!)
 
+
<br>
I'm an awful nice guy! (so you say)
+
<br>I'm an awful nice guy! (so you say)
I sweat all day in the sun! (oh yeah, yeah)
+
<br>I sweat all day in the sun! (oh yeah, yeah)
I'm a preacher by trade,
+
<br>I'm a preacher by trade,
Quite a bundle like me,
+
<br>Quite a bundle like me,
And I'm a feature ol' mumble-mumble
+
<br>And I'm a feature ol' mumble-mumble
Son-of-a-gun!
+
<br>Son-of-a-gun!
(He's a unionized roofin' old
+
<br>(He's a unionized roofin' old
Son-of-a-gun!)
+
<br>Son-of-a-gun!)
Fill in the blank!
+
<br>Fill in the blank!
 
+
<br>
When I get off, I get,
+
<br>When I get off, I get,
When I get off, I get,
+
<br>When I get off, I get,
When... I, I, I, I,
+
<br>When... I, I, I, I,
And then, Sharkey says:
+
<br>And then, Sharkey says:
When I get off (pfft!)
+
<br>When I get off (pfft!)
I get sinful
+
<br>I get sinful
(Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on)
+
<br>(Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on)
I spoo
+
<br>I spoo
Till I goo
+
<br>Till I goo
On the rug
+
<br>On the rug
Then I find me
+
<br>Then I find me
Some eighteen ninety-five Luiann-, Louisiana style prostitute
+
<br>Some eighteen ninety-five Luiann-, Louisiana style prostitute
And make her do pornographic stunts while I watch
+
<br>And make her do pornographic stunts while I watch
And I have
+
<br>And I have
So much fun
+
<br>So much fun
Jay-zus! Jay-zus!
+
<br>Jay-zus! Jay-zus!
(Pornographic stunts and I have so much fun)
+
<br>(Pornographic stunts and I have so much fun)
(What?)
+
<br>(What?)
 
+
<br>
I huff
+
<br>I huff
And I puff
+
<br>And I puff
(Hratche-plche
+
<br>(Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche)
+
<br>Hratche-plche)
And I pump up my sanctified erection
+
<br>And I pump up my sanctified erection
Till my cheeks
+
<br>Till my cheeks
Puff up
+
<br>Puff up
An' turn red
+
<br>An' turn red
Along with my neck
+
<br>Along with my neck
(Say, varmint!)
+
<br>(Say, varmint!)
I drool
+
<br>I drool
On my shirt
+
<br>On my shirt
Takes a little while before I squirt
+
<br>Takes a little while before I squirt
But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet
+
<br>But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet
UH-OH!
+
<br>UH-OH!
Made a mistake this time!
+
<br>Made a mistake this time!
Now I've sinned
+
<br>Now I've sinned
Everybody!
+
<br>Everybody!
(What an asshole!)
+
<br>(What an asshole!)
Made a mistake and I sinned, uh!
+
<br>Made a mistake and I sinned, uh!
Made a mistake and I sinned, ow!
+
<br>Made a mistake and I sinned, ow!
Made a mistake and I sinned, what?
+
<br>Made a mistake and I sinned, what?
Made a mistake and I sinned
+
<br>Made a mistake and I sinned
 
+
<br>
Lonesome Cowboy Jim!
+
<br>Lonesome Cowboy Jim!
(Sinnin' atcha!)
+
<br>(Sinnin' atcha!)
Come smell this fringe-y shirt!
+
<br>Come smell this fringe-y shirt!
(Grinnin' atcha!)
+
<br>(Grinnin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
+
<br>My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
+
<br>My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
+
<br>My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
+
<br>On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-yeah
+
<br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-yeah
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!
+
<br>Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!
 
+
<br>
(He's lonesome cowboy jim/scott,
+
<br>(He's lonesome cowboy jim/scott,
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo
+
<br>Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo
Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat)
+
<br>Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat)
(Oh, tune me in now)
+
<br>(Oh, tune me in now)
Come on in this place,
+
<br>Come on in this place,
An' I'll buy you a taste,
+
<br>An' I'll buy you a taste,
'N you can sit on my face -
+
<br>'N you can sit on my face -
Where's my prostitute?
+
<br>Where's my prostitute?
Opal, you hot little bitch!
+
<br>Opal, you hot little bitch!
 
==Players On This Song==
 
==Players On This Song==
 
[[The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life|THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE]] version
 
[[The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life|THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE]] version

Revision as of 06:57, 15 February 2018

Lyrics


My name is Swaggart
I am an asshole
All my friends,
They call me "Jim"
(Hi, Jim!)
I'm from Louisiana,
I make lots of money,
But I fucked up
And committed a sin

Come out here to Californy,
Just to find me
Some pretty girls
(No shit!)
The ones I seen
Gets me so horny;
Ruby lips,
'N teeth like pearls!

Wanna love 'em all!
In the name of Jesus!
Wanna pretty girl -
I'll even pay!
I'll buy 'em furs!
I'll buy 'em jewelry!
I'll never fuck them;
Here's what I say:

I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim!
(Speakin' atcha!)
I only give 'em the tips of him!
(Posin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!

(He's lonesome Cowboy Jim
Look at the tip of him!)
Come on in this place,
'N I'll buy you a taste,
You can sit on my face -
Where's my prostitute/waitress?

Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (thank you!)
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (yessir!)

I'm an awful nice guy! (so you say)
I sweat all day in the sun! (oh yeah, yeah)
I'm a preacher by trade,
Quite a bundle like me,
And I'm a feature ol' mumble-mumble
Son-of-a-gun!
(He's a unionized roofin' old
Son-of-a-gun!)
Fill in the blank!

When I get off, I get,
When I get off, I get,
When... I, I, I, I,
And then, Sharkey says:
When I get off (pfft!)
I get sinful
(Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on)
I spoo
Till I goo
On the rug
Then I find me
Some eighteen ninety-five Luiann-, Louisiana style prostitute
And make her do pornographic stunts while I watch
And I have
So much fun
Jay-zus! Jay-zus!
(Pornographic stunts and I have so much fun)
(What?)

I huff
And I puff
(Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche)
And I pump up my sanctified erection
Till my cheeks
Puff up
An' turn red
Along with my neck
(Say, varmint!)
I drool
On my shirt
Takes a little while before I squirt
But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet
UH-OH!
Made a mistake this time!
Now I've sinned
Everybody!
(What an asshole!)
Made a mistake and I sinned, uh!
Made a mistake and I sinned, ow!
Made a mistake and I sinned, what?
Made a mistake and I sinned

Lonesome Cowboy Jim!
(Sinnin' atcha!)
Come smell this fringe-y shirt!
(Grinnin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-yeah
Yodel-oh-ooh-pee!

(He's lonesome cowboy jim/scott,
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo
Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat)
(Oh, tune me in now)
Come on in this place,
An' I'll buy you a taste,
'N you can sit on my face -
Where's my prostitute?
Opal, you hot little bitch!

Players On This Song

THE BEST BAND YOU NEVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE version

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

FZ Albums & Side Projects

Tribute & Cover Albums

Notes About This Song

The lyrics of this Zappa song have been altered to target televangelist Jimmy Swaggart, who was caught in a 1988 sex scandal.

See also: Lonesome Cowboy Burt.

CC Clues In This Song

"Those readers unfamiliar with Laurie Anderson's work might not realize that we're parodying her in the middle section of 'Lonesome'---'Sharkey' is a character in several of her songs. I suggested including the relentless "ha ha ha ha ha ha" vocal part, ripped off from her song 'O Superman', and I came to regret it on some evenings when Frank decided to keep the section going on forever."

Mike Keneally referring to The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life