The Big Surfer

Lyrics

Crowd:
(mumbling)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey hey hey! Hold hold hold it! Hold it! Hey, hold everything! Hold it, hold it, hold it . . . Here comes the Big Surfer!
Hey, look, look at that woody . . . That's a sharp woody, huh huh!

Big Surfer:
It is a great pleasure to be back on the beach here at Santa Monica.

Crowd:
YEAH!

Big Surfer:
Now, well you must all realize that these appearances are very important to me.
Jackie gave me a fresh bleach job just last night, and Pierre has been helping me wax down my board in the back of the woody on the way over from the airport.
Now at this time I should like to thank the governor for the foam rubber huaraches I'm wearing. They are very comfy.
And now . . .

Girls:
Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee!

Big Surfer:
And now . . .

Girls:
Hee hee hee! Ha ha ha!

Big Surfer:
(Jackie, for goodness sake, tell Teddy to pull up his baggies).
And now, I'd like to say, it's a great pleasure to be your guest at this affair.
And I should like to get on with the dance contest.
And now all of you, well, hodaddies, grab your, ah, ho-mommies, and we'll, ah, all hike, er, I mean stomp (oh well, they, they know I'm under pressure).
Now what I say, hit it, I want you to make a big, strong wedge, with a solid left hand macaroni, then hang five and shoot the curl. Now, hit it! Oh, you're looking good!
(Jackie, I wish you get Caroline to turn her amplifier down)
(Pierre, remind me to bring Bobby a new reed tomorrow, they all want to get into the act)
Yes, yes, I think we, ah, have a winner! It's the, ah, little couple from over in the, ah, corner.
And, no, don't stop the music, let's, ah, bring them up here and, ah, give 'em a big hand!

Crowd:
(a big hand)

Boy:
Huh huh huh, hi, Big Surfer!

Girl:
Hi, hi, Big Surfer!

Big Surfer:
Hiya, kids, ah, hiya, hiya, ah, hiya!

Boy:
Huh gosh, this is really exciting!

Girl:
Oh, yeah!

Boy:
What do we win?

Big Surfer:
Well, as the winners of our dance contest you'll receive an all expense paid trip . . .

Girl:
Oh, really?

Big Surfer:
It's an all expense paid trip as the first members of the Peace Corp to be sent to, ah, Alabama.

Players On This Song

• Brian Lord - Lead Vocals
• Frank Zappa - Lead And Rhythm Guitars/Drums/Vocals
• Paul Buff - Opening Vocal/Bass/Saxophone/Sound Effects
• Ray Collins - Vocals

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

• The Big Surfer /Not Another One - Brian Lord & The Midnighters (1963)

Notes About This Song

• A parody of President John F. Kennedy.
• Includes quotations from Yankee Doodle (Dr. Richard Schuckburg) and Dixie (Daniel Decatur Emmett)
• Medgar Evers' murder led to Capitol Records refusing to release this single.