Dinah-Moe Humm

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Lyrics

I couldn't say where she's comin' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say: "Look here, bum,
I got a forty-dollar bill say you can't make me cum
Y'jes can't do it"

She made a bet with her sister, who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum,
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
So I got down to it

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,
Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe comin' from?
I done spent three hours an' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm

Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
(No no no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it

'Cause I can't get into it unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it before I get into it
'Cause I never get into it unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it to get myself into it

She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said: "Just get me wasted an' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up then my body don't care"

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin an' said: "My, my, my
What sort of thing might this lady get high upon?"
I checked out her sister, who was holdin' the bet
An' wondered what kind of trip the young lady was on

The forty-dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said: "Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ______ if I wasn't done yet"

I told her:
"Just because the sun want a place in the sky
No reason to assume I wouldn't give her a try"

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties on there

"Whaddya mean, cooties!? No cooties on me!"

She was buns-up kneelin'
(Buns up!)
I was wheelin' an dealin'
(Wheelin' an' dealin' an' ooooh!)
She surrender to the feelin'
(Sweetly surrendered)
An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down from the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition her sister was in

She quivered 'n quaked an' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke about her mental health
'Till Dinah-Moe finally did give in
But I told her all she really needed was some discipline

Kiss my aura... Dora...
M-M-M... it's real Angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the floor-a?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?

MMM... sound like you're chokin' on somethin'
Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more...

(Oh, baby...)

Oh, sure... look,
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon encrusted tweezers?

MMM... tweezers!
Wait a minute, lemme sterilize 'em...
Gimme your lighter...


I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say: "Look here, bum,
I got a forty-dollar bill say you can't make me cum
Y'jes can't do it"

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
Some Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a Dinah-Moe again
An' Dinah-Moe
An' Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora
An' Dinah-Moe
Kiss my aura, Dinah

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Notes About This Song

CC Clues In This Song

  • The song makes reference to lice when the narrator asks Dinah-Moe's sistier "if she had any cooties on there", to which she responds with indignation: "Whaddya mean, cooties!? No cooties on me!"
  • Zappa's favorite Zircon encrusted tweezers also make an appearance in the song ("D'you think I could interest you in a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?").