The Purse

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Al Surratt: Oh, jeez. Beast nut [...] Spearmint Gum. And she also has Wrigley's. Uh, she's ambivalent. That's for sure. There's a small note here that says-- no, it's a receipt. Your receipt uh, it's, it's uh five cents. That must be for the gum. Coleman 626 621 9040. A girl with very poor handwriting. That means she is, uh, not very diligent. Here's a letter to Barstow, she says. It says, "Desert lover" . . . No. (whistles) Oh, this is from Barstow. The letter is from Barstow. Frank!
FZ: What?
Al: The letter is from Barstow.
FZ: Oh yeah?
Al: Yeah. There it is, boy.
FZ: Alright, so read the letter.
Al: Dig. Oh, we'll analyze this. A couple desert guys. Oh, hidden, hidden ideas here . . . See, "guess what. The most exciting thing has happened to me . . . " Oh, Frank!
FZ: What?
Al: Get this! "I was elected homecoming princess."
FZ: Oh yeah?
Al: Guess how princess is spelled. P-R-I-N-C-I-S.
FZ: [...]
Al: Yeah, with an exclamation point behind it.
FZ: Yeah . . .
Al: "Isn't that fabuloss? I am so excited when the captain of the team and the coach told me. I was a happy and excited. I wanted to cry. And jump up and down and hug and kiss everyone. But somehow I managed to control myself. Mary Comerfound is queen, and Sheryl Bridges and myself are princiseses. You know something? I feel just as honored with being a princess as I would being queen. Our homecoming is the Friday and we play against Palmdale. I wish you could come up for it. That would be so neat. Oh, Edie, I am so excited about the whole thing. I wanted to write and tell you the first day I found out but I never found the time. Another big shock: John Gossit is back in town. Remember how he ran away from home last year? Well, he came back."
FZ: (laughs) Oh, shit . . .
Al: "He was living in Hawaii, and is going into the Marine Corps next week. You should see him, Edie. He's grown up so much. His hair is real long."
FZ: (laughs)
Al: "Surfer-style."
FZ: Oh, shit . . .
Al: "Down to his shoulders. But it looks so neat on him. He really lived the life of-- of a king over there. He was a real surfer, board and all. He slept out on the beach at night. He talked to me for a long time Friday night after the game and asked if George and I were still going together. I told him, 'Yes,' and he gave me not-so-happy look and said, 'Oh.' Boy, if I weren't going steady, I'd sure jump at a chance with him again. I just can't believe how much he has changed and all of it is for the better. Oh well. Good thing he's living-- good thing he's leaving next week. The temperature-- the temptation might be too much for me. Guess what? I have a French poodle. That's right. A pedigree. [...]"

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