Lonesome Cowboy Nando
Lyrics
My name is Nando,
I'm a marine biologist.
All my friends,
They call me "doh".
(Hi, doh!)
All my family,
From someplace in this area,
And they complain if I talk about this horrible pizza
During the show.
Come out here, to californy,
Just to find me some pretty girls.
Ones I seen gets me so horny,
Ruby lips, 'n teeth like pearls.
Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly.
Wanna a jellyfish, I'll even pay.
I'll buy 'em furs, I'll buy 'em pizza,
I know they like me, here's what I'll say:
I'm lonesome cowboy Burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Won'tcha smell my fringe-y shirt?
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress...
He's lonesome cowboy Burt. (a-ha!)
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.
Come on in this place
An' I'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress?
Burtram, burtram redneck!
Burtram, burtram redneck!
I'm an awful nice guy.
Worked all day in the sun.
I'm a roofer by trade,
Quite a bundle I've made,
I'm a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun.
He's a unionized roofin' old son of a gun!
"darling, I crazy go nuts when I hear this,
You know what I'm sayin'? "
When I get off, I get plastered.
I swim till I fall on the jellyfish.
Then I find me some academic kind of illustrator,
I describe the little dangling utensils on this thing,
And tell him to draw it up
So it looks just like a brand new jellyfish.
(trying to follow along, they sing some gibberish)
"take that! take that!"
I fuss an' I cuss and I keep on swimmin',
Till my snorkel puffs up an' turns red.
I drool on my shorts,
I do some water sports,
Then I take the jellyfish back to my house
And stick it in the bed! "sorta..."
"whaddya do? "
Stick it again in the bed!
"that's right!
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!
Lonesome cowboy Burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Smell my fringe-y shirt.
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress!
He's lonesome cowboy Burt. yee-ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt!
Come on in this place,
An' I'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress?
"Opal, you hot little bitch!"
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Notes About This Song
In 1987 the Italian marine researcher Ferdinando "Nando" Boero published a paper about a new marine jellyfish discovered in California and named "Phialella Zappai" in honor to Frank Zappa, his favourite rocker. Nando wrote to Zappa hoping to meet him. Zappa replied saying "there is nothing I would like better than having a jellyfish with my name" leading to a meeting, and eventually a friendly acquaintance, between the biologist and FZ.
