View source for Scene 57: The Perverted Nun

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>I'm going to die. I know I'm going to die, I can tell because my pulse is so weak. The pills . . . I took so many downers that I know this is the end for me.

<BR>Janet:
<BR>You poor thing. You want us to fix your hair for you so you look good when they find you?

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>Oh . . . would you?

<BR>Janet:
<BR>Sure, whaddya want? A pony tail? A flat-top with fenders?

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>I'm gonna die, Janet, I'm gonna O.D.! So make me look good.

<BR>Janet:
<BR>Listen, the best I can do for you is fix your hair, so why don't you get up and wash that melted eye makeup off your face?

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>Is it smeared? I've been crying so much . . . it's so damn sad when you know you'll never see all your friends anymore.

<BR>Janet:
<BR>Every week it's the same old thing. You're gonna die. You're gonna die. Somebody went out on you. Somebody doesn't love you anymore. How long you been a groupie? You should get used to romances which are so obviously cheap. Listen, just in case you crash out, and the imaginary rock & roll newspaper from San Francisco wants to get any pictures of you, you'll look like you washed your face. Really. It's better this way with a clean face. People think groupies are such dirty girls!

<BR>Aynsley:
<BR>Wouldn't mind sort of fucking all three of them! Heh-hmm.

<BR>Lucy:
<BR>Look, over there!

<BR>Janet:
<BR>What?

<BR>Lucy:
<BR>He's doing it, he's watching us from the fake bandstand with the binoculars!

<BR>Janet:
<BR>Who, the Englishness?

<BR>Lucy:
<BR>The Rivet Boy!

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>The Rivet Boy? Where?

<BR>Lucy:
<BR>Over there . . . Wipe that stuff out of your eyes! Looks like he's beating off!

<BR>Janet:
<BR>Beating off? I knew he was a pervert.

<BR>Lucy:
<BR>Eeeuuooo, how exciting! Hey, are you still trying to O.D.?

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>Yes, this definitely is the end for me . . . I feel so faint . . . so weak . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>Good evening, honey, that was the most imaginary collapse I've seen since last week!

<BR>Lucy:
<BR>Janet, do you think she's gonna die?

<BR>Janet:
<BR>Are you kidding? Did you see her hit the floor?

<BR>Lucy:
<BR>God, well, it was so obviously cheap. Lift the head, honey!

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>I'm going to die . . . this time it's real . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>Listen, Lucy, we gotta get ready for our big dance number, we're going to the fake night club tonight.

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>Everything is getting dim . . .

<BR>Lucy:
<BR>Why don't you tell her a story while you put your makeup on? Ah . . . evening.

<BR>Janet:
<BR>Oh. Listen, toots. I'm gonna make up a nice little fairy tale for you.

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>Ooh, the pills . . . Mandrax . . . I took so many of them . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>I'll tell you part of the story, and then you make up another part that goes along with it. Once upon a time there was a tall, handsome, muscular . . .

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>. . . dwarf . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>. . . with a very special . . .

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>. . . Swedish apparatus . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>. . . that him and his friends would use in conjunction with . . .

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>. . . bold new surgical experiments . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>. . . involving . . .

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>. . . a bludgeon and a bottle of champagne . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>. . . and a . . .

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>. . . microwave oven . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>. . . from a . . .

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>. . . jumbo jet, one of the big jobs leased from Air Rangoon . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>. . . which, when used correctly . . .

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>. . . can effectively increase the dimensions . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>. . . and firepower of your . . .

<BR>The Hot Nun:
<BR>. . . dick . . .

<BR>Janet:
<BR>. . . to the point where . . .

<BR>Lucy:
<BR>. . . in some instances, it should be classified as a lethal weapon!


==Recordings==
[[200 Motels 50th Anniversary Edition]]


==CC Clues==
*[[Drugs]]" "I'm going to O.D."
*[[Sweden]]: "...Swedish apparatus..."
*[[United Kingdom]]: "Who, the Englishness"

[[Category:Tracks]][[Category:Spoken word tracks]][[Category:Tracks with sexual topics]]