Eddie Are You Kidding?

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Lyrics


Eddie, are you kidding?
I've seen you on my TV
Eddie, are you kidding?
The people always ask me
I saw your double knits
I thought they were the pits
You threw it in a bag
And then you sent me home--
What!?
Eddie, are you kidding?
No, no!
Eddie, are you kidding?
No, no!

Eddie, are you teasing
About your rancid garments?
Eddie, are you teasing
About your sixty tailors?
I'm coming over shortly
Because I am a portly
You promised you could fit me
In a fifty dollar suit--
Oh
Eddie, are you kidding?
No, no!
Eddie, are you kidding?
No, no!

Howard: Eddie, my friends ask me, Eddie, Eddie, are you kidding? I wanna tell you something, my friends: I am not kidding. Here at Zachary All we have sixty tailors in the back room. We have the west's largest selections of portly's, regulars, longs, extra longs, and cadets. And my friends say to me: Eddie, Eddie, what do you think of the new Double Knits?
Mark: Eddie, what do you think of the new Double Knits?
Howard: And I tell them: I'll tell you something frankly, my friends-- When the new double knits first came out, I was not impressed. But as you can see, these pants I'm wearing are double knit. They stretch in all the right places. They're the most comfortable. Our model Twiggy here will demonstrate. I have this lovely little Seersucker . . . wait a minute

WHERE CAN I GO IN GARDENA?
AND WHERE CAN I GO IN L.A.?
AND WHERE CAN I GO IN ROSEMONT?
I NEED SOME THREADS TODAY

I need the knits
The double knits
I need the knits
They are the pits
I need the knits
The double knits
I'm coming over shortly
Because I am a portly
You promised you could fit me
In a fifty dollar suit--
Whew!
Eddie, are you kidding?
No, no!
Eddie, are you kidding?
No, no!
Eddie, are you kidding?
No, no!
Eddie, are you kidding me?
Eddie, are you kidding me?
Eddie, are you kidding me?

Howard: No, my friends, I'm not kidding, right here on the miracle mile we have the west's largest selections of . . .

Portly,
Regular,
Cadet,
Tall,
And long

Howard: And not only that-- My brother Jake and Little Emil, and . . .

Sixty tailors!

Players On This Song

Flo & Eddie

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Zappa Albums

Tributes & Cover Albums

Notes About This Song

This song is inspired by Edward Nalbandian, who was the proprietor of the huge discount men's clothing store down on Wilshire, Zachary All. In fact, he was Zachary All, which was a made-up name. Eddie turned up constantly on L.A. TV doing his own commercial spots and in one, which only ran eight times an hour for about five years, he said, of his store's prices on the new double-knit suits, "My friends all ask me, 'Eddie, are you kidding?' And I tell them no, my friend, I am not kidding." Nalbandian died on February 22 2006.


The song also quotes "Sixteen Candles" by The Crests.

CC Clues In This Song

The song was referenced in the film Down and Dirty Duck (1975), which also features Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan.