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He used to be very kind in his own crude way
He wasn’t always like I wanted him to be
He wasn’t smart, he wasn’t handsome either
But he thrilled me when he drilled me
And I never loved a monster quite like he ...

Because his love was so flambay
His kisses burned me so, his kisses turned me
From a queen on a throne to a shriveling spool
Here I stand all alone, a spider’s fool

When it’s me he needs to fondle his tool
I guess some bugs are just that way
He don’t really need your love
He don’t really need you
To be there when his hair gets matted and grey
With a broom cleaning his room from the mess he made that day
All those earthling worms he nibbled away

Oh hunchentoot my love, how could you desert me now?
Oh hunchentoot you brute, can’t you see I want you?
Stay with me flagrantly
And we’ll have ecstasy for all eternity

Because your love is so flambay
You kisses burn me so, your kisses turn me
From a queen on a throne to a shriveling spool
I don’t mind if you’re unkind ’cause spiders rule

Yes you are real cool
With those little webs you spool
And all your spider drool
Oh let me float in your pool

Players On This Song

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Zappa Albums

Notes About This Song

Only the "unauthorized" CD Sleep Dirt by Warner Brothers released this song with lyrics.

Lucy Lawless sang this song once. On February 24, 2009 she wrote on her fanclub website: "I spent a fun day with the fabulous Gail Zappa recording a song from one of Frank Zappa's unproduced operas, “Hunchentoot.” The song we did was “Flambay.” It's about the alien Queen who is in love with this big ol' spider, Hunchentoot (who has a harmonica over which he hunches and toots). She is lamenting that though he lets her fondle his privates, he is, nevertheless, holding out for a woman with eight arms. This unrequited love is driving her mad. Gail came to my show at the Roxy and came backstage afterwards. She invited me to come record with some of the musicians from Dweezil's band who won Grammys the next night. She said I could sing any song I wanted, but she really felt "Flambay" was something I should consider. I listened to it with Joe, her producer, who worked on a heap of Frank's stuff, and I thought, holy shit, that's waaay too hard and in too high a key. We chose "Magic Fingers" instead and then at the end of the day we had half an hour left and I said, why don't you throw on "Flambay" and we'll just see what happens. I had never sung the song out loud before, thnking that the key was too high, etc. But something crazy happened, something alchemical. I have never done anything that outrageous before, and you all know that's really saying something. You will all get to hear it in time, I guess. We just did it in one take, but Gail and Joe were in tears afterwards. To get the original music online, they had had to open a reel of tape from 1979 (or was it '73?) and it brought back a lot of memories for them. They cracked a bottle of wine, and Gin for me, and we toasted what was a great week for the Zappa family. I love those guys." [1]

CC Clues In This Song