View source for Dong Work For Yuda

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==Lyrics==

'''Act II'''<br>
<br>
'''SCENE TWELVE'''<br>
'''DONG WORK FOR YUDA'''<br>
<br>
'''CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:'''<br>
Hello there, this is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER. Joe was sent to a special prison where they keep all the other criminals from the music business; you know, the ones who get caught. It's a horrible place, painted all green on the inside, where musicians and former executives take turns snorting detergent and plooking each other...<br>

''(As the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER chuckles to himself for a moment, FATHER RILEY, who became BUDDY JONES, steps into view in his new identity: FATHER RILEY B. JONES, Prison Chaplain, who, in a rather heavy-handed piece of imagery, is now entrusted with the job of singing this song as he assists the captured executives in their quest for new meat to plook, and, once having found these victims for the princes of the industry, trades them little blobs of sanctified lubricant jelly for cigarettes and candy bars while he holds them down so the execs won't have to work too hard when they stick it in.)''<br>

'''CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:'''<br>
Anyway, while he's in there he meets this guy who used to be a promo man for a major record company: Bald-Headed John<ref>The song is about [[John Smothers]] and his way of speaking English</ref>, King of the Plookers.<br>
<br>
'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
This is the story 'bout Bald-Headed John<br>
(Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong)<br>
He talks a lot 'n it's usually wrong<br>
(Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong)<br>
He said Dong was Wong,<br>
'N Wong was Kong<br>
'N Dong work for Yuda,<br>
'N John was wrong<br>
<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>
(Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong)<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>
He said Dong was Wong<br>
And Wong was Kong<br>
And Dong was Gong<br>
'N John was wrong<br>
<br>
John's got a sausage, yeah man!<br>
John's got a sausage, yeah man!<br>
John's got a sausage that will make you fart<br>
John's got a sausage that will break your heart<br>
Make you fart and break your heart<br>
Don't bend over if you are smart<br>
<br>
He took a little walk to the weenie stand<br>
(John's got a sausage, yeah man!)<br>
A great big weenie in both his hands<br>
(John's got a sausage, yeah man!)<br>
He sucked on the end<br>
'Til the mustard squirt<br>
He said “Ya'll stand back<br>
'Cause you might get hurt!”<br>
<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>
(Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong)<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>
He said Dong was Wong<br>
And Wong was Kong<br>
And Dong was Gong<br>
'N John was wrong<br>
<br>
'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
Make way for the iron shaschige!<br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
I need a dozen towels so the boys can take a shower<br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
Bartender, bring me a colada and milk<br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
On second thought, make that a water: H-T-O!<br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
Falcum... take me to the falcum!<ref>Refers to the mispronunciation of Falkoner Center. Zappa related: "...t's a cab, and the driver is Danish, and he doesn't speak English. I get in the back, and John gets in the front, and the cab driver is just sittin' there, 'cause he doesn't know where to go, and John finally realizes that he must tell the driver where to go, so, he just turns to him, and goes, "FALCUM."  and the guy looks at him, y'know, kinda lookin' up like this, and John goes, "FALCUM." ... and the guy DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. And then, John gets vehement. He goes, "TAKE ME TO THE FALCUM!" - [[They're Doing the Interview of the Century, Part 3]]</ref><br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
I wave my bags, did you wave vour'n?<br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
Well how much did they wave?<br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
Ah'm almost two kilometers tall<br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
This girl must be praketing richcraft<br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>

'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
Don't worry about the faggot, I'll take care of the faggot<br>

'''FATHER RILEY B. JONES & EXECS:'''<br>
Sorry, John, sorry, better try it again<br>
Try it again, try it again, try, try, try again...<br>
<br>
'''BALD-HEADED JOHN:'''<br>
Your Pomona is very extinct. Yeah, I studied with the Dong of Tokyo 'n also with the oriental Kato. My body contain uh water. I just loves the way these Copenhagens talks! Driver, McDoodle. Sausage, Salima, Salami. That looks like that stuff that Freckles<ref>[[John Smothers]]' wife</ref> lets out Once a month.<br>
<br>
''(Eventually FATHER RILEY B. JONES gets around to JOE with his little case of pre-blessed unguents.)''<br>
<br>
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER. Poor Joe, he’s getting tired of bending over. But we tried to warn him... didn't we? Okay, Joe, you asked for it: here comes the Big One!<br>
<br>

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==Players On This Song==
The Musicians:

Frank Zappa -<i>lead guitar, vocals</i>

Warren Cuccurullo —<i>rhythm guitar, vocals</i>

Denny Walley —<i>slide guitar, vocals</i>

Ike Willis —<i>lead vocals</i>

Peter Wolf —<i>keyboards</i>

Arthur Barrow —<i>bass, vocals</i>

Ed Mann —<i>percussion</i>

Vinnie Colaiuta —<i>drums, optometric abandon</i>

Patrick O’Hearn —<i>bass on Outside Now</i>

The Cast:

Frank Zappa - <i> 
Central Scrutinizer,
L. Ron Hoover,
Father Riley B. Jones </i>

Ike Willis - <i> Joe </i>

Warren Cuccurullo & Ed Mann  - <i> Sy Borg </i>

Terry Bozzio - <i> Bald-Headed John  </i>

Dale Bozzio - <i> Mary  </i>

Denny Walley - <i> Mrs. Borg  </i>

Al Malkin, Warren Cuccurullo, Dale Bozzio, Geordie Hormel, Barbara Issak & most of the people who work at Village Recorders (circa 1979) - <i>The Utility Muffin Research Kitchen Chorus </i>

==Records On Which This Song Has Appeared== 
===Singles=== 
===FZ Albums & Side Projects=== 
* [[Joe's Garage Acts II & III]]
* [[Hammersmith Odeon (The Album)]]
===Tribute & Cover Albums=== 
==Notes About This Song==

<References/>



==CC Clues In This Song== 





[[Category:Tracks]][[Category:Tracks with sexual topics]]