"The Holiday Inn Motel Chain"

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FZ: In this— In this next section—this is all a continuous piece, this is from the quasi-opera 200 Motels, which deals with the life of the rock & roll musician on the road, and especially dealing with the Holiday Inn motel chain. You have to imagine at this point each one of us is in own motel room, and we're getting ready to go out and score some nooky in this town that we just got into, 'cause you know that when you're in the rock & roll business, that getting paid for what you do is minute compared to getting nooky for what you do when you go on the road, so—

Howard: Right on!

FZ: No, no, no, I'm not going that far, that's your job. So here's the deal. When you're in a band and you get to town like the day before you're supposed to play, the first thing you do is go dashing off to wherever somebody tells you is the hot spot in town and you try and round up somebody to flip your leg over and do gyrations back at the hotel. So, this sequence here—the members of our jolly band are in the motel getting ready to go out. A little organ vamp in the background.

Howard: Shit.

FZ: Another night at the Holiday Inn.

Howard: I can't stand it.

Mark: If I would have gone to the club last night with Frank, I would've been recognized.

Howard: I sure wish I could've gotten laid last night.

Mark: And I was not laid.

Howard: Now that's the time to get laid.

Mark: Aynsley always gets laid.

Howard: I wonder whether [...].

Mark: Our drummer [...] always gets laid.

Howard: Aynsley ripped off my chick. He ripped off Mark's chick

Mark: He rips off everybody's chick.

Howard: He ripped off Frank's chick. I can't believe [...].

FZ: Aynsley borrowed my vibrator.

Mark: Tonight I'm gonna try a new approach.

Howard: I'm gonna put on a cape here with fringes on it. I'm gonna put on my my new tight jeans.

Mark: Besides my sexy [...].

Howard: Here we go. Here's a little jar of golden tinsel glitter. Golden glitter. Three Dog Night uses this. Ooh!

Mark: I think I'll try this.

Howard: Sprinkles it on his face. Has no— Gets him every time. He gets laid a whole lot, man.

Howard: I don't know, man. What do you think?

Mark: It has worked for others.

All: Perhaps it will work for me.


The Mothers 1970