Stevie's Spanking

Lyrics

His name is Stevie Vai,
And he's a crazy guy
Last November, I recall,
He needed a spanking

He decided then
A female specimen
Would be exciting for a night
To give him a spanking

Laurel was her name
She came to Notre Dame
He told me just the other night
He oughta be thanking
Her for the spanking

She was large and soft
And she beat him off
Made him drool upon his dork
And gave it a wanking
After the spanking

Hair brush!
(Ah . . . a hair brush!)
Oh! What a hair brush!
(Hey, Frank, it's a hair brush!)
(It's not that he requires grooming!
(Honey . . . Wah! Splash!)
Guys with light blue hair never did!)

Then did she exclaim:
"There's another game
That we can play with this device,
And then a banana!"

It was slightly green
Vapors in between
Rising up to fill the room
And cook the banana

She said it was dry
"Stevie won't you try
To drool a little drool on it
And grease the banana"

Later in the dawn,
Laurel carried on
She got right up and dressed herself and
Ate the banana

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

• Baby, Take Your Teeth Out (01:53) / Stevie's Spanking (05:24) - Frank Zappa (1984)

Zappa Albums & Side Projects

• Them Or Us

Tribute & Cover Albums

• Colin Towns + NDR Bigband: Frank Zappa's Hot Licks (And Funny Smells)

Notes About This Song

In this song, Zappa documents actual events which transpired between Steve Vai and Laurel Fishman as they were reported to Zappa at a breakfast meeting the following morning (according to FZ in The Real Frank Zappa Book).