Catholic Girls

Lyrics

Act I

SCENE THREE
CATHOLIC GIRLS

(A festive CYO party with crepe paper streamers, contestants for the broom dance, the , baked goods, & FATHER RILEY making sure the lights don't go down too low...)

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
With a tiny little mustache

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
Do you know how they go?

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
In the Rectory Basement
Father Riley's a fairy
But it don't bother Mary

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
At the CYO

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
Do you know how they go?

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
There can be no replacement
How do they go,
After the show?

JOE:
All the way
That's the way they go
Every day
And none of their mamas ever seem to know
Hip-Hip-Hooray
For all the class they show
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
At the CYO
When they learn to blow...

FATHER RILEY:
They're learning to blow
All the Catholic Boys!

MARY:
Warren Cuccurullo...

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Boys!

MARY:
Kinda young, kinda WOW!

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Boys!

MARY:
Vinnie Colaiuta...

CHORUS:
Where are they now?
Did they all take The Vow?

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

WARREN:
Carmenita Scarfone!

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

OFFICER BUTZIS:
Hey! She gave me VD!

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls!

WARREN:
Toni Carbone!

CHORUS:
With a tongue like a cow
She could make you go WOW!

JOE:
VD vowdy vootie
Right away
That's the way they go
Every day
Whenever their mamas take them to a show
Matinee
Pass the popcorn please
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
With her hand in the box
When she's on her knees

FATHER RILEY:
She was on her knees,
My little Catholic Girl

CHORUS:
In a little white dress

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
They never confess

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
I got one for a cousin
I love how they go
So send me a dozen

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
OOOOOOH!

FATHER RILEY:
Catholic Girls

CHORUS:
OOOOOOH!
(etc.)

CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe had a girl friend named Mary. She used to go the church club every week. They'd meet each other there, hold hands and think Pure Thoughts. But one night at the Social Club meeting Mary didn't show up... She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory in order to get a pass to see some big rock group for free...

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

• Joe's Garage (06:10) / Catholic Girls (03:51) - Frank Zappa (1979)

Zappa Albums

• Joe's Garage Act I. Same take on:
  • Have I Offended Someone?
• You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 6. Same take on:
  • Cheap Thrills

Tributes & Cover Albums

• Sheik Yerbouti: Insanity Sauce

CC Clues In This Song

The tracks on Joe's Garage Act I and Sheik Yerbouti: Insanity Sauce are citing Jewish Princess.