Brown Shoes Don't Make It

Lyrics

Brown shoes
Don't make it
Brown shoes
Don't make it
Quit school
Why fake it?
Brown shoes
Don't make it...

TV dinner by the pool
Watch your brother grow a beard
Got another year of school
You're okay--he's too weird
Be a plumber
He's a bummer
He's a bummer
Every summer
Be a loyal plastic robot for a world that doesn't care...
Smile at every ugly
Shine on your shoes & cut your hair

Be a joik
And go t' woik
Be a joik
And go t' woik
Be a joik
And go t' woik
Be a joik
And go t' woik
Do your job & do it right
Life's a ball
TV tonight...
Do you love it?
Do you hate it?
There it is...
The way you made it...
YARRRRRRRRRRRGH-H-H!

A world of secret hungers
Perverting the men who make your laws
Every desire is hidden away
In a drawer... in a desk
By a naugahyde chair
On a rug where they walk and drool
Past the girls in the office

Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche

We see in the back of the City Hall mind
The dream of a girl about thirteen
Off with her clothes and into a bed
Where she tickles his fancy all night lonnnnnnnnng

His wife's attending an orchid show
She squealed for a week to get him to go
But back in the bed, his teen-age queen
Is rocking & rolling & acting obscene
Baby baby
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Baby baby
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche

And he loves it! He loves it! It curls up his toes
She bites his fat neck and it lights up his nose
But he cannot be fooled, old City Hall Fred
She's nasty! She's nasty! She digs it in bed!

Do it again and do it some more
That does it by golly, it's nasty for sure
Nasty nasty nasty, nasty nasty nasty
(Only thirteen and she knows how to nasty...)

She's a dirty young mind
Corrupted, corroded
Well she's thirteen today
And I hear she gets loaded
P-pum-m-mum-m-mum-m-mum
P-pum-m-mum-m-mum-m-mum
P-bum

If she were my daughter, I'd...
What would you do daddy?
If she were my daughter, I'd...
What would you do daddy?
If she were my daughter, I'd...
What would you do daddy?
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby!
Smother that girl in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again
She's a teen-age baby and she turns me on
I'd like to make her do a nasty on the White House lawn
Gonna smother that girl in chocolate syrup -
And boogie till the cows come home

Time to go home - Madge is on the phone
Gotta meet the Gurney's
And a dozen grey attorneys
TV dinner by the pool
I'm so glad I finished school
Life is such a ball
I run the world from City Hall!

Players On This Song

On Absolutely Free:

• Jim Getzoff – violin
• Marshall Sosson – violin
• Alvin Dinkin – viola
• Armond Kaproff – cello
• Don Ellis – trumpet
• John Rotella – contra-bass clarinet
• Lisa Cohen – Suzy Creamcheese

On Tinseltown Rebellion:

(Hammersmith Odeon, London; February 18, 1979, 2nd show)

• Frank Zappa – lead guitar & vocals
• Ike Willis – rhythm guitar & vocals
• Warren Cuccurullo – rhythm guitar & vocals
• Denny Walley – slide guitar & vocals
• Tommy Mars – keyboards & vocals
• Peter Wolf – keyboards
• Ed Mann – percussion
• Arthur Barrow – bass & vocals
• Vinnie Colaiuta – drums

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

-

Zappa Albums & Side Projects

Original Albums

• Absolutely Free. Same take on:
• Tinseltown Rebellion

Beat The Boots

• Anyway The Wind Blows

Compilations

• Mothermania

Unauthorized Compilations
-
Samplers And Promos
-
Special Editions
-
Miscellaneous
-

Tribute & Cover Albums

• Various Artists: Zappa's Universe
• Yahozna: Plays Zappa
• Grandmothers: Who Could Imagine, cited in Help I'm A Rock
• Omnibus Wind Ensemble: Music By Frank Zappa
• Sheik Yerbouti: Insanity Sauce
• Various Artists: Arf Society's Black CD
• Colin Towns + NDR Bigband: Frank Zappa's Hot Licks (And Funny Smells)

Notes About This Song

• Brown Shoes Don't Make It includes a quote from Little Deuce Coupe (Wilson/Christian).

"Brown Shoes Don't Make It is a song about the people who run the governments, the people who make the laws that keep you from living the kind of life you know you should lead. These unfortunate people manufacture inequitable laws and ordinance, perhaps unaware of the fact that the restrictions they place on the young people in a society are a result of their own hidden sexual frustrations. Dirty old men have no business running your country."

— Frank Zappa.

"This is Lightnin' Slim on Excello. The name of this song is 'Have Your Way' and the lick in the background on this record is the thing that gave me the idea for the background on 'Brown Shoes Don't Make It'."

— Frank Zappa on the Dr. Demento Show March 17, 1981, from the Frank Zappa GSW Project Vol. 24 1981, disk 1 track 17 (Listen to it here).

CC Clues In This Song

• Makes reference to the character Madge ("Time to go home - Madge is on the phone").