You Are What You Is (The Track)

Lyrics

• You Are What You Is version

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
(A cow don't make ham . . . )
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis

A foolish young man
From a middle class fam'ly
Started singin' the blues
'Cause he thought it was manly
Now he talks like the Kingfish
("Saffiiiee!")
From Amos 'n Andy
("Holy mack'l dere . . . Holy mack'l dere!")
He tells you that chitlins . . .
(Chitlins!)
Well, they taste just like candy
He thinks that he's got
De whole thang down
From the Nivea Lotion
To de Royal Crown

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
(A cow don't make ham . . . )
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis

A foolish young man
Of the Negro Persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian
He stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
He traded his dashiki
("Uhuru!")
For some Jordache Jeans
He learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself
"I AIN'T NO NIGGER NO MORE . . . HEY! HEY! HEY!"
"I don't understand you . . . "
BWANA MA-COO-BAH
"Would you please speak more clearly . . . "
MERCEDES BAINNNNNNNZ

Who is who
(I don't know . . . )
'N what is what
(Somethin' I just don't know . . . )
'N why is this
(Tell me now . . . )
Appropriot
(That's a funny pronunciation if'n ever I heard one . . . )
If you don't like
(Where'd you get that word?)
What you has got
(Appropriot? The word is not . . . )
Drop it in the dirt
(Drop it yeah . . . )
'N let it rot
(I can smell it now . . . )
Someone else
(Here de come, here de come . . . )
Will surely come
(I told you they was comin')
'N pick it up
(That's right!)
'Cause he wants some
(An' he wants it for free . . . )
And when one day
(There will come a day . . . )
You wonder who
(I wonder too . . . )
You used to was
(Who I was anyway . . . )
'N what you do
(I used to work at the post office . . . )
You'll scratch your head
(But I don't wanna un-do my doo . . . )
'N look around
(Just to see what's goin' on . . . )
But what you lost
(Can't seem to find it . . . )
Will not be found
(A Mercedes Benz . . . )

Do you know what you are?
(I know . . . )
You are what you is
(I'm the kinda guy . . . )
You is what you am
(That ought to be drivin' . . . )
A cow don't make a ham
(A four-fifty SLC . . . )
You ain't what you're not
(A big ol' red one . . . )
So see what you got
(With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk . . . )
You are what you is
(I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin' . . . )
An' that's all it is
(Gimme a five-dollar bill . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(And an overcoat too . . . )
AND THAT'S ALL IT IS
(Where's my waitress? Yeah . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(Robbie, take me to Greek Town . . . )
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club y'all . . . )
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(I'm goin' down 'n work the wall 'n work the floor . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
('N work the pipe 'n work the wall . . . )
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(Some more . . . )

• Thing-Fish version

Thing-Fish: Straighten up in dat chair and pay ATTENTIUM! People, dis is fo yo' own good! Do YOU know what YOU ARE?
Ensemble: (displaying Dummy #1) Do you know what you are?
Thing-Fish: Dat what I ast ya!
Ensemble: You are what you is You is what you am
Thing-Fish: And DAT de trufe!
Ensemble: (A cow don't make ham . . . )
Thing-Fish: I meant dat now!
Ensemble: You ain't what you're not
Thing-Fish: Not even hardly . . .
Ensemble: So see what you got
Thing-Fish: And you got a lot o' lookin' t'do, junior!
Ensemble: You are what you is
Thing-Fish: Dat entirely TOO CORRECT!
Ensemble: An' that's all it 'tis!
Thing-Fish: Uh-HUHHHH!
Ensemble: A foolish young man
Thing-Fish: Bring dat dummy ovuh heah 'n show it to 'em!
Ensemble: Stashed away in SAN QUENTIM Ate de mys'try potatoes
Thing-Fish: Told ya 'bout dem 'taters!
Ensemble: EVIL PRINCE was inventin' Now he talk like de THING-FISh
Thing-Fish: (manipulating the dummy) ("Hmmmm, Saffiiiee!")
Ensemble: An' he look like a MAMMY!
Thing-Fish: (manipulating the dummy) ("See de mammy, now! See de mammy, now!")
Ensemble: His fav'rit CO-LOG-NUMM . . .
Thing-Fish: Smell like . . .
Sister Potato Head Bobby Brown, Sister Ghenghis Adonis Osmosis, Sister Jasmine Noxema Tapioca: CHITLINS!
Ensemble: Is de one dey call 'SAMMY'!
Thing-Fish: One-Adam-Twelve . . . see de mammy . . .
Ensemble: He finally layin'
Thing-Fish: Armed 'n dangerous, reproach wit cautium!
Ensemble: De whole thang down, 'Cept de NIVEA LOTIUM!
Thing-Fish: Rub it on good, now!
Ensemble: An de ROYAL CROWN!
Thing-Fish: Take good care o' dat "ASH"!
Ensemble: Do you know what you are?
Thing-Fish: You's a wimp . . . she's a shrew!
Ensemble: You are what you is
Thing-Fish: Got dat?
Ensemble: You is what you am
Thing-Fish: One-Adam-Twelve, see de mammy agin'!
Ensemble: (A cow don't make ham . . . )
Thing-Fish: And it never will . . .
Ensemble: You ain't what you're not,
Thing-Fish: Unless SCIENCE do somethin' 'bout it!
Ensemble: So see what you got!
Thing-Fish: I KNOW dey woikin' on it . . .
Ensemble: You are what you is,
Thing-Fish: Underneath VIRGINIA!
Ensemble: An' that's all it 'tis!
Thing-Fish: BOOG-BOOGMMM, Dano . . . "MAMMY ONE"!
Ensemble: (showing Dummy #2) A foolish young man Of de negro persuasion Devoted his life To become a caucasian He stopped eating pork He stopped eating greens He trade his dashiki
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: (manipulating the dummy) ("Uhuru!")
Ensemble: For some Jordache Jeans! He learned to play golf An' he got a good score Now he says to himself: "I AIN'T NO . . . "
Thing-Fish: "NIGNINT!"
Ensemble: "NO MORE . . . HEY! HEY! HEY!"
Thing-Fish: One-Adam-Twelve, see de "NIGNINT" wit knife . . . proceed wif cautium . . . knife may be open . . .
Ensemble: BWANA MA-COO-BAH
Harry: All Right! Let's go!
Ensemble: MERCEDES BAINNNZZZZZ!
Ensemble: Who is who?
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: (singing) I don't know . . .
Ensemble: 'N what is what
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Somethin' I just don't know . . .
Ensemble: 'N why is this
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Tell me now . . .
Ensemble: Appropriot
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: That's a funny pronunciation, If'n ever I heard one!
Ensemble: If you don't like
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Where'd you get that word?
Ensemble: What you has got
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Appropriot? The word is not!
Ensemble: Drop it in the dirt
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Drop it, yeah!
Ensemble: 'N let it rot
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I can smell it now!
Ensemble: Someone else
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Here de come, here de come!
Ensemble: Will surely come
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I told you he was comin'!
Ensemble: 'N pick it up
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: That's right!
Ensemble: 'Cause he wants some
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: An' he wants it for free!
Ensemble: And when one day
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: There will come a day!
Ensemble: You wonder who
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I wonder too!
Ensemble: You used to was
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Who I was, anyway!
Ensemble: 'N what you do
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I used to work at the post office!
Ensemble: You'll scratch your head
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: But I don't wanna un-do my doo!
Ensemble: 'N look around
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: To see what's goin' on!
Ensemble: But what you lost
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Can't seem to find it!
Ensemble: Will not be found
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: A Mercedes Benz!
Ensemble: Do you know what you are?
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I know!
Ensemble: You are what you is
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I'm the kinda guy . . .
Ensemble: You is what you am
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: That ought to be drivin'
Ensemble: A cow don't make ham
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: A four-fifty SLC . . .
Ensemble: You ain't what you're not
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: A big ol' RED ONE!
Ensemble: So see what you got
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk!
Ensemble: You are what you is
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin'!
Ensemble: An' that's all it is
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Gimme a five-dollar bill!
Ensemble: YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: And an overcoat too . . .
Ensemble: AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Where's my waitress, yeahhhh!
Ensemble: YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: Robbie, take me to Greek Town!
Ensemble: AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I'm harder than yer husband; Harder than yer husband!
Ensemble: YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club, y'all!
Ensemble: AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: I'm goin' down 'n work the wall! 'N work the floor
Ensemble: YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
Sister Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cow-Hoon: 'N work the pipe, 'N work the wall some more!
Ensemble: AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS

Players On This Song

• Thing-Fish version
  • Ike Willis rhythm guitar and vocals
  • Ray White rhythm guitar and vocals
  • Tommy Mars keyboards
  • Arthur Barrow bass
  • Chad Wackerman drums

Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

• You Are What You Is / Pink Napkins (04:36) - Frank Zappa (1981)
• You Are What You Is / Pink Napkins (04:36) / Harder Than Your Husband (02:28) / Soup 'n Old Clothes (07:50) - Frank Zappa (1981)
• You Are What You Is / You Are What You Is (04:23) - Frank Zappa (1981)
• You Are What You Is / Harder Than Your Husband (02:28) - Frank Zappa (1982)
• Valley Girl (04:50) / You Are What You Is - Frank Zappa (1982)

Zappa Albums

• You Are What You Is
• What's New In Loreley?
• Thing-Fish