Billy The Mountain - Revision history

Spider of Destiny at 13:21, 9 August 2026

2026-08-09T13:21:11Z

Spider of Destiny at 23:46, 8 August 2026

2026-08-08T23:46:50Z

Spider of Destiny at 22:39, 8 August 2026

2026-08-08T22:39:53Z

Spider of Destiny at 16:14, 4 August 2026

2026-08-04T16:14:46Z

Spider of Destiny at 18:41, 31 July 2026

2026-07-31T18:41:41Z

Spider of Destiny at 21:42, 27 July 2026

2026-07-27T21:42:21Z

Spider of Destiny at 17:12, 27 July 2026

2026-07-27T17:12:35Z

Spider of Destiny at 16:41, 27 July 2026

2026-07-27T16:41:11Z

Spider of Destiny: /* Lyrics */

2026-07-26T20:12:37Z

Lyrics

Jason.Kreitzer at 18:09, 27 October 2021

2021-10-27T18:09:00Z

@@ Line 87: / Line 87: @@
 ''And to this very day, "Wing Nuts" and Data Reduction Clerks alike, speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when test stand #1 and the rocket sled itself (''"We have ignition!"'') got lunched! I said: lunched (''"Lunched!"'') by a FAMOUS MOUNTAIN-IN and his SMALL, WOODEN WIFE. <br>
-''"Word just in to the [[KTTV]] News Service undeniably links THIS MOUNTAIN and HIS WIFE to drug abuse and pay-offs as part of a [[San Joaquin Valley|SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY]] smut ring! However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a recent marcotics crack-down in [[Torrance]], Hawthorne, Lomita, Westchester, [[Playa del Rey]], [[Santa Monica]], Tujunga, Sunland, [[San Fernando Valley|San Fernando]], Pacoima, Sylmar, Newhall, Canoga Park, [[Palmdale]], [[Glendale]], [[Irwindale]], Rolling Hills, Granada Hills, Shadow Hills, [[Cheviot Hills]], will provide the secret evidence the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment, and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of Bartenders and Veterinarians throughout the INLAND EMPIRE."<br>
+''"Word just in to the [[KTTV]] News Service undeniably links THIS MOUNTAIN and HIS WIFE to drug abuse and pay-offs as part of a [[San Joaquin Valley|SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY]] smut ring! However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a recent marcotics crack-down in [[Torrance]], Hawthorne, Lomita, [[Westchester]], [[Playa del Rey]], [[Santa Monica]], Tujunga, Sunland, [[San Fernando Valley|San Fernando]], Pacoima, Sylmar, Newhall, Canoga Park, [[Palmdale]], [[Glendale]], [[Irwindale]], Rolling Hills, Granada Hills, Shadow Hills, [[Cheviot Hills]], will provide the secret evidence the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment, and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of Bartenders and Veterinarians throughout the INLAND EMPIRE."<br>
 ''Within the week, [[Jerry Lewis|JERRY LEWIS]] had hosted a Telethon (''"Wah wah wah, nice lady!"'') to raise funds for the injured (''injured'') and homeless (''homeless'') in Glendale, as BILLY had just levelled it, and, a few miles right outside of town, BILLY caused a 'Oh Mein Papa' in the Earth's crust, right over the secret underground dumps (right near the [[Jack-In-The-Box|JACK-IN-THE-BOX]] on [[Glenoaks]]) where they keep the pools of old poison gas, and obsolete germ bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through.<br>

@@ Line 87: / Line 87: @@
 ''And to this very day, "Wing Nuts" and Data Reduction Clerks alike, speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when test stand #1 and the rocket sled itself (''"We have ignition!"'') got lunched! I said: lunched (''"Lunched!"'') by a FAMOUS MOUNTAIN-IN and his SMALL, WOODEN WIFE. <br>
-''"Word just in to the [[KTTV]] News Service undeniably links THIS MOUNTAIN and HIS WIFE to drug abuse and pay-offs as part of a SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY smut ring! However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a recent marcotics crack-down in [[Torrance]], Hawthorne, Lomita, Westchester, [[Playa del Rey]], [[Santa Monica]], Tujunga, Sunland, [[San Fernando Valley|San Fernando]], Pacoima, Sylmar, Newhall, Canoga Park, [[Palmdale]], [[Glendale]], [[Irwindale]], Rolling Hills, Granada Hills, Shadow Hills, [[Cheviot Hills]], will provide the secret evidence the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment, and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of Bartenders and Veterinarians throughout the INLAND EMPIRE."<br>
+''"Word just in to the [[KTTV]] News Service undeniably links THIS MOUNTAIN and HIS WIFE to drug abuse and pay-offs as part of a [[San Joaquin Valley|SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY]] smut ring! However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a recent marcotics crack-down in [[Torrance]], Hawthorne, Lomita, Westchester, [[Playa del Rey]], [[Santa Monica]], Tujunga, Sunland, [[San Fernando Valley|San Fernando]], Pacoima, Sylmar, Newhall, Canoga Park, [[Palmdale]], [[Glendale]], [[Irwindale]], Rolling Hills, Granada Hills, Shadow Hills, [[Cheviot Hills]], will provide the secret evidence the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment, and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of Bartenders and Veterinarians throughout the INLAND EMPIRE."<br>
 ''Within the week, [[Jerry Lewis|JERRY LEWIS]] had hosted a Telethon (''"Wah wah wah, nice lady!"'') to raise funds for the injured (''injured'') and homeless (''homeless'') in Glendale, as BILLY had just levelled it, and, a few miles right outside of town, BILLY caused a 'Oh Mein Papa' in the Earth's crust, right over the secret underground dumps (right near the [[Jack-In-The-Box|JACK-IN-THE-BOX]] on [[Glenoaks]]) where they keep the pools of old poison gas, and obsolete germ bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through.<br>

@@ Line 87: / Line 87: @@
 ''And to this very day, "Wing Nuts" and Data Reduction Clerks alike, speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when test stand #1 and the rocket sled itself (''"We have ignition!"'') got lunched! I said: lunched (''"Lunched!"'') by a FAMOUS MOUNTAIN-IN and his SMALL, WOODEN WIFE. <br>
-''"Word just in to the [[KTTV]] News Service undeniably links THIS MOUNTAIN and HIS WIFE to drug abuse and pay-offs as part of a SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY smut ring! However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a recent marcotics crack-down in [[Torrance]], Hawthorne, Lomita, Westchester, [[Playa del Rey]], [[Santa Monica]], Tujunga, Sunland, [[San Fernando Valley|San Fernando]], Pacoima, Sylmar, Newhall, Canoga Park, [[Palmdale]], [[Glendale]], [[Irwindale]], Rolling Hills, Granada Hills, Shadow Hills, Cheviot Hills, will provide the secret evidence the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment, and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of Bartenders and Veterinarians throughout the INLAND EMPIRE."<br>
+''"Word just in to the [[KTTV]] News Service undeniably links THIS MOUNTAIN and HIS WIFE to drug abuse and pay-offs as part of a SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY smut ring! However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a recent marcotics crack-down in [[Torrance]], Hawthorne, Lomita, Westchester, [[Playa del Rey]], [[Santa Monica]], Tujunga, Sunland, [[San Fernando Valley|San Fernando]], Pacoima, Sylmar, Newhall, Canoga Park, [[Palmdale]], [[Glendale]], [[Irwindale]], Rolling Hills, Granada Hills, Shadow Hills, [[Cheviot Hills]], will provide the secret evidence the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment, and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of Bartenders and Veterinarians throughout the INLAND EMPIRE."<br>
 ''Within the week, [[Jerry Lewis|JERRY LEWIS]] had hosted a Telethon (''"Wah wah wah, nice lady!"'') to raise funds for the injured (''injured'') and homeless (''homeless'') in Glendale, as BILLY had just levelled it, and, a few miles right outside of town, BILLY caused a 'Oh Mein Papa' in the Earth's crust, right over the secret underground dumps (right near the [[Jack-In-The-Box|JACK-IN-THE-BOX]] on [[Glenoaks]]) where they keep the pools of old poison gas, and obsolete germ bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through.<br>

@@ Line 97: / Line 97: @@
 ''...sucking up two thirds of it (''Suck! Suck! Suck!'') for untimely dispersal over vast stretches of... WATTS! <br>
-''Now, unless I misunderstood, it was right outside of Columbus, Ohio when BILLY received his notice to report for his induction physical. Now, lemme tell ya, ETHELL said, now ETHELL, ETHELL said she wasn't gonna let him go: <br>
+''Now, unless I misunderstood, it was right outside of Columbus, [[Ohio]] when BILLY received his notice to report for his induction physical. Now, lemme tell ya, ETHELL said, now ETHELL, ETHELL said she wasn't gonna let him go: <br>
 ''"I'm not gonna let you go, BILLY!" ''(That's right!)<br>
-''"We now have confirmed reports from an informed ORANGE COUNTY MINISTER, that ETHELL is still an active Communist... and it is this reporter's opinion that she also practices (''Coven!'') witch-craft!"<br>
+''"We now have confirmed reports from an informed [[Orange County|ORANGE COUNTY]] MINISTER, that ETHELL is still an active Communist... and it is this reporter's opinion that she also practices (''Coven!'') witch-craft!"<br>
 ''It was about this time that the telephone rang inside of the secret briefcase belonging to the one mortal man who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save America Herself (''"Hooray!"''); and I'm sorry to disappoint some of you, it was not [[Wikipedia:Thomas Reddin|Chief Reddin]]. This one man was [[Studebaker Hoch|STUDEBAKER HOCH]], fantastic new super hero of the current economic slump. <br>

@@ Line 215: / Line 215: @@
 ''The influence of a Frozen Beef Pie! <br>
 <br>
-''Boldly springing into action, he phoned his wife (who ran a modeling school), whereupon he... yes, he ran around the back of [[Wikipedia:Broadway Hollywood Building|the Broadway]] at Hollywood Boulevard and Vine to see if he could find himself some big large, un-used cardboard boxes; (''"No shit!"'') after which, he hit up the RALPH'S on Sunset for some '[[Electric Aunt Jemima|AUNT JEMIMA]] SYRUP', some '[[Kaiser Broiler Foil|KAISER BROILER FOIL]]', and a pair of blunt scissors! (''"Hey-hey!"'') Yes! Yes, and in the parking lot of RALPH'S, where "no prices are lower prices than RALPH'S"... in the parking lot of RALPH'S (in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking), he cut out some really, really, really nice wings, and he covered them thoroughly with foil! ("''Tho-rough-ly with... foil!''") Then he took those wings and wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth. Yes! Yes! And then he shut the fucking door! And he pulled down his blue denim policeman type trouser pants, and he spread even amounts of AUNT JEMIMA maple syrup all over the inside of his legs! Soon the booth was filling with flies! (''"Help me, help me, help me!"'') He held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in (''"Yes! Yeah!''"), and when each and every one of those little cocksuckin' flies had gone into his pants, and they were lapping up all that maple syrup, he bent over and he put his head between his legs and he said in a very clear, impressive, [[L. Ron Hubbard|RON HUBBARD]]-type voice: "NEW YORK!" And the booth and everything lifted up, out of the parking lot, and into the sky! <br>
+''Boldly springing into action, he phoned his wife (who ran a modeling school), whereupon he... yes, he ran around the back of [[Wikipedia:Broadway Hollywood Building|the Broadway]] at [[Hollywood Boulevard]] and Vine to see if he could find himself some big large, un-used cardboard boxes; (''"No shit!"'') after which, he hit up the RALPH'S on Sunset for some '[[Electric Aunt Jemima|AUNT JEMIMA]] SYRUP', some '[[Kaiser Broiler Foil|KAISER BROILER FOIL]]', and a pair of blunt scissors! (''"Hey-hey!"'') Yes! Yes, and in the parking lot of RALPH'S, where "no prices are lower prices than RALPH'S"... in the parking lot of RALPH'S (in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking), he cut out some really, really, really nice wings, and he covered them thoroughly with foil! ("''Tho-rough-ly with... foil!''") Then he took those wings and wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth. Yes! Yes! And then he shut the fucking door! And he pulled down his blue denim policeman type trouser pants, and he spread even amounts of AUNT JEMIMA maple syrup all over the inside of his legs! Soon the booth was filling with flies! (''"Help me, help me, help me!"'') He held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in (''"Yes! Yeah!''"), and when each and every one of those little cocksuckin' flies had gone into his pants, and they were lapping up all that maple syrup, he bent over and he put his head between his legs and he said in a very clear, impressive, [[L. Ron Hubbard|RON HUBBARD]]-type voice: "NEW YORK!" And the booth and everything lifted up, out of the parking lot, and into the sky! <br>
 <br>
 STUDEBAKER HOCH <br>

@@ Line 87: / Line 87: @@
 ''And to this very day, "Wing Nuts" and Data Reduction Clerks alike, speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when test stand #1 and the rocket sled itself (''"We have ignition!"'') got lunched! I said: lunched (''"Lunched!"'') by a FAMOUS MOUNTAIN-IN and his SMALL, WOODEN WIFE. <br>
-''"Word just in to the [[KTTV]] News Service undeniably links THIS MOUNTAIN and HIS WIFE to drug abuse and pay-offs as part of a SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY smut ring! However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a recent marcotics crack-down in [[Torrance]], Hawthorne, Lomita, Westchester, Playa Del Rey, [[Santa Monica]], Tujunga, Sunland, San Fernando, Pacoima, Sylmar, Newhall, Canoga Park, Palmdale, Glendale, [[Irwindale]], Rolling Hills, Granada Hills, Shadow Hills, Cheviot Hills, will provide the secret evidence the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment, and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of Bartenders and Veterinarians throughout the INLAND EMPIRE."<br>
+''"Word just in to the [[KTTV]] News Service undeniably links THIS MOUNTAIN and HIS WIFE to drug abuse and pay-offs as part of a SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY smut ring! However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a recent marcotics crack-down in [[Torrance]], Hawthorne, Lomita, Westchester, Playa Del Rey, [[Santa Monica]], Tujunga, Sunland, [[San Fernando Valley|San Fernando]], Pacoima, Sylmar, Newhall, Canoga Park, [[Palmdale]], [[Glendale]], [[Irwindale]], Rolling Hills, Granada Hills, Shadow Hills, Cheviot Hills, will provide the secret evidence the Palmdale Grand Jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment, and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of Bartenders and Veterinarians throughout the INLAND EMPIRE."<br>
 ''Within the week, [[Jerry Lewis|JERRY LEWIS]] had hosted a Telethon (''"Wah wah wah, nice lady!"'') to raise funds for the injured (''injured'') and homeless (''homeless'') in Glendale, as BILLY had just levelled it, and, a few miles right outside of town, BILLY caused a 'Oh Mein Papa' in the Earth's crust, right over the secret underground dumps (right near the [[Jack-In-The-Box|JACK-IN-THE-BOX]] on Glenoaks) where they keep the pools of old poison gas, and obsolete germ bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through.<br>

@@ Line 110: / Line 110: @@
 bullshit, honey (bullshit, man)<br>
 He's just another greasy guy<br>
-Who happened to be born next to the Frozen Beef Pies at BONEY'S MARKET. (Others say he was just a, just a)<br>
+Who happened to be born next to the Frozen Beef Pies at [[Boney's Market|BONEY'S MARKET]]. (Others say he was just a, just a)<br>
 Still others say, John, piss on you, Jack! (crazy Italian)<br>
 He's just a crazy Italian who drove a red car.<br>

@@ Line 155: / Line 155: @@
 Friday...<br>
 City of Industry...<br>
-Big John Mazmanian...<br>
+[[Big John Mazmanian]]...<br>
 So when the phone rang <br>