What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are?

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Lyrics

Fillmore East, June 1971 version

What's a girl like you
Doin' in a place like this?

"I left my place after midnight
And I came to this hall
Me and my girlfriend, we came here
Lookin' to ball"

You came to the right place
This is it
This is the swingin'-est place in New York City
No shit!

"How true that is!"
Oh, how true indeed!

"Yeah, me and my,
Me and my girlfriend, we come here every Friday 'n Saturday night
Looking for that hot romance we need
We like to get it on-
Do you like to get it on, too?"

Well now, what did you have in mind?

"Well, I'll tell ya
Well I get off bein' juked with a baby octopus
And spewed upon with creamed corn...
An' my girlfriend, she digs it with a hot Yoo-hoo bottle
While somebody's screamin':
'CORKS 'N SAFETIES
PIGS 'N DONKEYS
ALICE COOPER, baby . . .
WAAAAH!'"

Well, it gets me so hot
I could scream
ALICE COOPER, ALICE COOPER! WAAAAH!
ALICE COOPER, ALICE COOPER! WAAAAH!

You two chicks sound real far out and groovy
Ever been to a Holiday Inn?
Mna-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa...
Magic Fingers in the bed (Picture it!)
Wall-mounted TV screens
Coffee-Host plugged into the bathroom wall
Formica's really keen!

"What kind of girl?
What kind of girl do you think we are?
What kind of girl?
What kind of girl do you think we are?
I ain't no groupie
Don't call us groupies, that is going too far
What kind of girl?
We wouldn't ball you just because you're a star"

These girls wouldn't let just anybody
Spew on their vital parts
They want a guy from a group
With a big hit single in the charts!

Funny you should mention it
Our new single made the charts this week
With a bullet! With a bullet!
Just let me put a little more
Rancid Budweiser on my beard right now, baby
And you can show me how
A young girl such as you might be thrilled
And overwhelmed by me, ho-ho...

"What hotel did you say you were staying at?"

Wanna split right away?

"Not so fast, you silly boy...
There's one thing I gotta say:

We want a guy from a group who's got a thing in the charts
We want a guy from a group who's got a thing in the charts
We want a guy from a group who's got a thing in the charts
We want a guy from a group who's got a thing in the charts"

Broadway The Hard Way version

What's a girl like you
Doin' in a Motel like this?

"I left my place after midnight,
When I first got the call:
The escort service I work for
Said you wanted it ALL!"

Well, you came to the right place
This is it!
I got the most sanctified johnson in all Louisiana!
No shit!

"How true that is!"
How true, indeed, Llama!

"The other whores at the service said
You helped fulfill their need!
I like to get right down;
Do you like to get right down, too?"

Well, what did you have in mind?

"Well, I get off being spoo-ed upon
By hypocritical TV preachers
With close ties to the Republican Party,
While Ed Meese wipes his ass on the U.S. Constitution,
Screamin':

'That is I think I know tune in
But it's all wrong
That is I think I disagree

I don't think so --
I can't remember --
I just couldn't ever do that --'"

Gets me so hot I could scream:
'I don't think so, can't remember who..
Wrote the memo, or to whom it's to...'

Hey, your escort service has always been far-out 'n groovy --
Ever been to the Texas Motel?
Let me take you dow-how-how-how-how-how-hownnnnn!

Magic Jesus by the bed,
Wall mounted TV screen,
My church plugged into the gravy train,
And Reagan keeps me clean!

What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would suck his rod?
What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would suck his rod?
A lazy prostitute!
We wouldn't blow you just because you know "GOD"!
What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would suck his rod?

This unfortunate little vixen wouldn't let just ANYBODY
Spoo all over her lap --
She wants an ignorant Cracker TV Evangelist
Who's reciting all that crap.

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