The Crab-Grass Baby

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Lyrics

CRAB-GRASS BABY:
Stroke me pompadour, pompaduooor, pompaduooor, pompaduooor. Stroke me pompadour, father. Stroke it nicely while I tell you about the problems I am having with my car and my girlfriend. Ooo-wo-woo, the white man's burden! Her and her girlfriend used to go out and booze it up and tear up the upholstery; rip the seats completely out, and so I got a fifty-six Olds. About the time I got it running decently, she got in it and wrecked the trans... tore it completely up, so I had to get another Oldsmobile (either that or go to Tijuana or go to BROWN MOSES way down in Egypt-Land). It's so hard on a child when his car is fucked up. Buy me a Volvo, faaather.

HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
Isn't it terrific, ARTIFICIAL RHONDA?

CRAB-GRASS BABY:
One-Adam-Twelve... see the enormous white pompadour! Ha-Ha-ha-ho! That's a good one! Hoo-hoo-hoo.

HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
He's so young, and yet, so wise!

CRAB-GRASS BABY:
I pooped my pants, pooped my pants, pooped my pants! I went doody, faaather, sob-sob-sob-sob-sob.

HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
His vocabulary is astonishing!

CRAB-GRASS BABY:
So what if you suck a little cock every once in a while?

HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
Oh, I'm so lucky to have a son like this!

CRAB-GRASS BABY:
Barf me out, gag me with a Volvo!

HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
I can't wait to show him to all the fellas down at the mine-shaft!

CRAB-GRASS BABY:
Take me to the movies. Buy me a balloon. Stroke me pompadour!

HARRY-AS-A-BOY:
Look! Look! Look at the pecker on him, wouldja! Goodjy-goodjy-goodjy-goo! Hoo hoo hoo!

THING-FISH:
Dis boy have a provlem! However, how 'bout a nice round of applause fo de Three Wise MAMMIES, comin' atcha outa chute numba five!

Players On This Song

  • FZ (synclavier)


Records On Which This Song Has Appeared

Singles

Zappa Albums & Side Projects

Tribute & Cover Albums

Notes About This Song

CC Clues In This Song

  • There is another reference to "Valley Girl" in this song ("Barf me out, gag me with a Volvo!"); this is the second on the Thing-Fish album after the one in the previous song.