Suckit Rockit

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FZ: This is Paul Jackets, and tonight we're interviewing a very interesting guest. His name is, uh, Suckit Rockit.
Ray: Right, I'm . . . I, I sing. (laughs)
FZ: Well, anyway, the, our interview tonight concerns Suckit Rockit and the time he got screwed by a small independent record company in Hollywood. Well, Suckit . . .
Ray: I don't wanna talk about it. Oh, I thought you'd ask me about my first name. (laughs) I don't wanna talk about it.
FZ: There're millions of listeners and viewers out there, and all of the shut-ins they all want to find out about your problems, Suckit.
Ray: That was the name of my record. "Suckit Sings For All The Shut-ins." And it was really something. You want-- I'll sing it for you first.
FZ: I wish you would.
Ray: It goes, "Shut, shut, you're a shut-in, but I love you, ooh." And then in the back, [...] then the back was, "Wop-wop-WOP-WOP-A-DOO-DO-WOP".
FZ: Now, we happen to have a guitar player here in the studio. The union sent one down to accompany you. Um, we'd like to have you demonstrate this song, because it really does bear on your case.
Ray: Oh. Well, OK.

You, you, you are my shut-in
With your legs bandaged up
You can go nowhere
You just sit and puke in a cup
Why, why shut-in
Why, why did I break your arms and legs
and your nose and, [...]
all parts of your body
Oh, shut-in, I love you
I still love you
I always have . . .

FZ: Ah . . .
Ray: Why do you stick your finger in your nose all the time? What are ya doing?
FZ: Well I have a tiny set of teeth up there, that bites my fingernails.

Oh shut-in . . . (doo-wop)
Oh me, oh my, SHUT-IN!
SHUT-IN OH I LOVE YOU (doo-doo-wop)
Oh, oh I always love you, shut-in
Oh get back, get clippled in there
when I kicked you in your nose
Oh I shouldn't have, oh . . .

FZ: Well, let me ask you a few more questions about this tune. Did you write yourself?
Ray: Well I did, that's . . . that's why I want to come on TV and tell all the teenagers out there about it, because . . .
FZ: You . . . you mean that . . . you mean that they say there's hope for all teenagers that they like to write their own songs.
Ray: There is. Just keep writing in, and . . . then . . . and . . . uh, but I wrote, and I . . . I take it to this record company, and I said, "Oh, I've got the sound you should love, you haven't heard this." And then I didn't do "Shut-in" for 'em, but that was a B-side.
FZ: (laughs)
Ray: For you folks out there that don't understand the "B-side," that's show-biz talk. I've been in show business for . . . oh, what time is it?
FZ: (laughs)
Ray: Seven eight minutes, I don't know. But anyway, I took 'em the song called "You've Gone." You [...]
FZ: Before we go on to "You've Gone," I'd like to find out a little bit about what they said when you played the B-side.
Ray: They said, "That's the B-side, listen," They said, "That's a boner if I've ever heard one."
FZ: When they heard the A-side, they were very excited about it, weren't they?
Ray: Oh, I . . . Why you keep putting your fingers in your nose?
FZ: What did they say . . . .
Ray: Stop picking your nose!
FZ: What did they say about the A-side?
Ray: They said, "Oh, listen. I've heard some A-sides and I've heard some B-sides. But this is definitely one of the shittiest songs I've ever heard in my life."
FZ: I . . . I wish you would just briefly sum up what you . . . what you, uh, think of the people that you've been dealing with in the record industry.
Ray: If all I can sum up by this, uh, when you go in, kids, to, uh, you know, try to get your records sold to a company, or try to get other DJs play your records, be prepared to drop your drawers. If you gonna get it right in the tack at them, sorry about that, with . . . [...] Vaseline and Dexie [...] Bromo [...].

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