Greggery Peccary

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Greggery Peccary is a fictional pig character. He is the title character in The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary (1975 - Record Plant & UCLA).

About the character

Greggery Peccary is a little pig "with a white collar" (or better described as a "peccary swine".) He "distinguishes" himself by wearing a "wide tie" directly beneath the white collar. According to Zappa's original text Greggery prepares himself each morning by reading a "famous rock 'n' roll newspaper", while drinking a cup of hot Yoga Tea.

Greggery owns a Volkswagen, which he uses to drive to his office, "Big Swifty & Associates", who specialize in "trend monging", which means that they dream up trends to exploit the general public. The pig is admired by the girls who work in the steno pool, namely Gladys, Mildred, Miss Snodgrass and Wanda.

That day Greggery invents the calendar, which becomes an over-nite sensation. Unfortunately some people aren't pleased by the invention, because now they're able "to find out how old they are". When Greggery goes home from the office one night he is attacked by a rage of Hunchmen, generally "a bunch of very hip young people", who try to bump Greggery's car off the road. Greggery escapes into the Short Forest and the enraged Hunchmen (and Hunchwomen) decide to have a "love-in" and after a long orgy "expire from exhaustion".

Greggery's relief is disturbed when it turns out he is hiding inside the mouth of Billy The Mountain. Billy laughs and produces huge brown clouds which cover the entire area. Greggery is fascinated by these clouds and in search for more information he goes to a phone booth and makes an appointment with the "greatest philosopher known to mankind": Quentin Robert DeNameland. But the session doesn't provide Greggery with any useful answers, yet he lost a lot of money. So he concludes the moral of the story: "Who is making those new brown clouds? (...) If you ask a philosopher he'll see that you pays!"

In Zappa's original text the moral is sang by two female customers of Quentin Robert DeNameland and Greggery only realises the fraud when he leaves the building.

Greggery: (miffed)
That geek has ripped me off!
Narrator: (confidentially to Greggery)
Perhaps it's a trend ...

Background information

Zappa gave Greggery Peccary his name as a pun on the name of actor Gregory Peck and Pope Gregory XIII who introduced the Gregorian calendar.

See also