User talk:SOFA

From Zappa Wiki Jawaka
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Biographical Data

I am a MWMWC, 6' 2" (almost 2 kilometers) tall with a shaved head and an Imperial, 225 lbs;

light smoker (whenever it's light out, or the lights are on);

social drinker (socializing 24/7/365).

Turn-ons: walking barefoot on the beach at sunset, gourmet cooking, Belgian Beer, Cuban Cigars, metaphysics.

Turn-offs: insincere people, right-wing fundamentalists, an unbalanced 'Chinese' 7th chord.

Favorite Author: Terry Pratchett.

Favorite Musician: Frank Zappa.

Favorite Movie: The Wizard of Oz.

Favorite Quote: "I think that Oonk boy is a bad influence." - Eleanor Brunsell, 1969.

Hobbies: performing with Randy Johnson in the soft-rock duo 'R&J', home brewing beer & wine, watching american football.

Parental Advisory

Pet Peeves: Anyone who fucks with Barry. He is a dear friend, has taken on a huge task with this wiki, and I tend to have a petulant frenzy whenever I feel that he is being "attacked". You've been warned...

Interests

Music: "Music is the Best"

Humor: I firmly believe that music and humor can heal. Here's an example of something I wrote a while back that, IMO, accurately displays my sense of humor:

-- Shameful Family Secret --

After years of therapy, I am finally able to share a family secret so shameful that it would make a total stranger - who would never even hear it - blush. Can you imagine? Carrying around this emotional millstone for 42 years, grappling with the hideousness of the truth, not able to share this shameful burden with anyone! Is it any wonder that I often lose my composure and prattle on like a mewling toddler over the least significant drivel imaginable? Hell no. In fact, one would expect someone as pathetically misogynic as myself to be perpetually on the verge of complete psychological collapse after one considers the virtual prison that a skeleton like this, hiding in the ol' family closet, can create...

But, I digress.

My older brother - my mentor, my idol, my friend - is a Homo Sapien...

Whew! You have no idea how invigorating it is to finally be able to say that - ostensibly to a group of, maybe not total but ultimately, strangers. I've come far enough in my therapy to face my own sapiality. Though I am a practicing Hetero Sapien, I am secure enough after the aforementioned therapy to admit publicly that I have had Homo Sapial leanings. I often times find myself walking around fully erect - the sign of a true Homo Sapien... But, I'm okay with that.

I hope you are too...

SOFA

PS I resent whoever it was that suggested I have a cushy job. Any fool knows I have a cushion job. Get it right or die.